Every year students have their winter holidays. They usually last for 2 weeks: from New Year’s Day till the 9th of January. I am sure that all of us look forward to this time because its a great chance to sleep in late .and to do what we want. As for me I always sleep till 9 a.m. during my winter holidays. Then I turn on my TV and lie in my bed for another hour. Winter holidays are even more exciting because we celebrate New Year. Our mood is joyful. The whole atmosphere is full of magic. People exchange presents, decorate their homes, cook delicious food, visit each other and have parties. If the weather is cold I prefer to stay at home or visit my friends. They can also come to my place. We play computer games gtA5 or RAINBOW SIX, surf the Internet or watch films. In warm weather we go to the cinema or a café. This holiday was astonishing ,beacuse i met New Year with my parents and spent time with my friends.I hope that everbody liked their holiday.Happy New Year !
Hello, Mr. Toni Kross. Like your essay, because i learn word astonishing. But you have mistaken in word "because". Please, write names computer games like GTA5 or Rainbow six sidge, not give list in essay. Furthermore, your used in 3rd sentence full stop before "and".
Toni, you wrote facsinating and wonderful essay with using good grammatic roles. However, you have a bit mistakes. For example, "I" in English write by capital letter and some not important mistakes, but I hope that they appeared from technical mistakes. Good luck and remember that it is not end so do not stop to study new things.
Dear Toni Kross, our assignment was to describe Winter Holidays. Moreover, we should write essay in past tenses. However, Your essay is very good and fascinating. 1) After because we do not use comma. 2) beacuse should be because. 3) i should be I
Simple panda,thanks,but i do not agree with you.Previous commentor with high quality of English sad me that i need to write a list of the things which i wrote.
Hello, Toni Kross. 1)beacuse-because; 2)I is about you, so you will write it with capital letter; 3)3rd sentence-its-no contractions, will be 'it is'; 4)9s sentence-specify it in which tence,I am confused,because people repeats this activities every year on the eve of New Year, so I think that it will be better to write "Usually, during the New Year people exchange presents, decorate their homes and etc.". However, if it is in past tence, add -ed; 5)3rd sentence-no full stop before 'and'. 6)3rd paragraph-it is in past tence, correct "we go to the cinema" to "we went to the cinema"; 7)'We play computer games'-"We played" Please, read assignment again, because you were need to write it in past. However, you wrote your essay in general,it feels like you are describing your routine. Pay attention to details. Finally, pleas do not write full words with capital letters as you wrote 'RAINBOW SIX'. It will be enough to just write first letter wuth capital letter. If another commentators wrote your mictakes, try to read all of them and correct your mistakes. Thank you!
Dear, Amy! How are you? How is your winter holiday going? I would like to write about my winter holiday. It was very exciting. Most of the time, I was at home with my family. My siblings and I went to the cinema the day before Christmas. We chose to watch a cartoon called “Ferdinand”. I liked it very much, because it is about bulls that can teach us about real love for our friends. I am of the view that justice always wins. In general, I think it is about spiritual beauty. At 8 o’clock I sat with my family to meet the New Year. Everybody at home was happy and started to share with their positivity. Moreover, we made wishes to each other as we anticipated the New Year. Later we decided to take a family photo with the Christmas tree. It was a really miraculous night! I like this New Year atmosphere! Next day my grandmother visited us like Santa Claus. She came with a lot of presents for her grandchildren! Overall, my winter holidays were fascinating!
***your essay is differ from others because it is wrotten in a letter form with good grammar and context. That is why your essay is fascinatingly, and I liked it very much ***please, pay attention to these moments: -the day before Christmas - at the day before Christmas -that justice - that a justice (with an article)
Today is the second day of our new term. Now, I would like to share with you some information about my winter holidays. Ok, let`s start! In fact, our holiday lasted for 15 days, but if the weekends were included, then we had about 20 days of holidays at all. I spent my winter holidays in Taraz, at home actually. The first activity that I did was going to additional lessons on subjects such as English and World History. This lasted for the 5-6 days. Secondly, I was a ‘’perfect daughter’’ to my mum. For this I cooked some food including breakfast, lunch and dinner. Furthermore, I cleaned my home and took care of my brother and sister. Moreover, I watched soap operas and was surfing in the internet in my free time. Furthermore, in holidays I read 2 books from the world literature. At the end of the holidays, I felt very satisfied about my work and results. In addition, I consider that these activities indicate my self-development, my passion for learning and self-improvement. To sum up, in my winter holidays I did not just waste my time, and as a result I came to school with the wonderful mood!
Hello, chocolate_! I liked your essay very much. However, I have some advices for you to improve it. 1. "...surfing on the Internet..." 2. "Furthemore, during my holidays I read..." sounds better Wish you good luck)
dear, friend) your essay is wonderful! I didn't find any mistakes no matter how hard I try. There are good things that I liked in your essay: *good academic words such as indicate or passion *using of linking words *correct grammar Thank you for your hard work!
*a ‘’perfect daughter’’ to my mum->for my mOm:) It's cool that you've got some minor mistakes. I liked the style of your writing, so I'm waiting for your other essays!
I am pleased with the improvements that you have made as it reads very well. However, I would also suggest these minor adjustments... it will then be perfect! Well done :)
The first activity that I did was go... Surfing the Internet... Furthermore, in the holidays... 2 books from world literature... I came to school in a very mood!
My winter holidays I spent my winter holidays the same as how the majority of people celebrated their winter holidays. I think you agree with me that this celebration is encouraging. For example, I was playing computer games, watching serials, cleaning home and other stuff. I didn`t do something special and just relaxed. My family was at home only half of all my holidays, so we were home and preparing to New Year. New Year was funny as well as encouraging. However, we did not buy firework. Subsequently it was little bit sad thing for me because it is my favorite action in this celebration. I hope next year we will buy it. We prepared two days before the celebration. On New Year’s Day starting from 18 o`clock neighbors and relatives came and we went their home too. At twelve o`clock we watched Nursultan Nazarbayev`s speech and drank beverages. As you see my holidays was full of positive, relax and other different positive feelings. I was playing with my best friend, watching serials and other good as well as my favorite stuff. These holidays were simple as usual days, but it gave me energy and power to learn new information at school.
Very good essay. You improved your essay by changing/replacing some words to linking words. However, please work with articles. Nice work! 1)neighbors should be neighbours 2)preparing to New Year should be prepare + action. For example , The sixth-form students are preparing to take their A levels. Prepare for + noun. Example: I was busily preparing for their arrival.
*I liked that your essay is written in modest and frank form) This indicates your special style of writing (because you are talking about a lifelong state of every person) however, it would be better if you change these moments in your essay: 1) and other stuff. - and other daytime activities (it sounds better and seems not rude like "stuff") 2) so we were home - so we were AT home (the word home always goes with the preposition "at") 3) was little bit sad thing - was A little bit sad thing (with article) thanks, I have learnt the new linking word as "Subsequently" 3)
I'm satisfied with your work. 1. Try to use more linking words 2. "As you see my holidays was full of positive, relax and other different positive feelings."-"holidays WERE", because you wrote "holidayS". 3. As well as in this sentence, you can use the word "refreshment" instead of "relax". 4. In my opinion, it will be better if "At twelve o`clock we watched Nursultan Nazarbayev`s speech and drank beverages." in this sentence you could write "we watched "our president's speech", because some readers from other coutries may not know this name. 5. "it gave me energy and power to learn new information at school.". In my point of view, it could be better if you wrote "it gave full of positive emotions to get knowledge better" instead of simple "learn new information". 6."We prepared two days before the celebration." you can upgrade it by changing some words for "We started preparations two days before the celebration" or "Our New Year's routine started two days before the long-awaited celebration."
I love it! It is really an improved version of the previous one. You communicated clearly your ideas in this version. It is clear from me who are reading the essay on what you did in your Winter Holiday! Just remember my suggestions in the previous one and keep on writing! Good job!
My winter holiday started on the 22nd of December and has finished yesterday. Moreover, these holidays were very special for me, I found new friends, already helped my brother and mum with homework’s. When my friends returned to their hometown, I was deciding to write letters for them and it was very enthralling. We exchanged thoughts, shared and just chatted, kept in touch. Every day, I and my friends go to the outside. We were strolled or played a computer games / PS4 such as Fifa 18 in the computer / PS4 clubs. Also we celebrated birthday of my friend. It was so cool and unimaginable. In the same time we were preparing to the New Year. Yes, I know that it was difficult but we did not give up. However, it was so sad that we did not buy fireworks. Furthermore, I practiced my hobby of reading books. I bought the few books, like Harry Potter and the cursed child, I am legend and etc. but I read only one of them. When I was reading books I did not notice that New Year is near as well as my family celebrated the New Year 2018! In my opinion, this New 2018 year was very unusual and fascinating. The End!
Dear Hames, Your essay become much better,it is good that you pay attention for the peoples comments.However,you need to take the names of the books in "",because someone might thing that you are telling about yourself.
*I have noticed that your essay has some new information with details ,which makes your text differ than others. In addition, I am glad that you changed some mistakes according to my previous comment! * please ,make it better by taking care of these mistakes: 1) played a computer games - played the computer games (gameS in plural form,so we can`t use the article "a") 2) We were strolled or played - We were strolling or playing (because according to the rules of Past continues we can not use subject+ were + verb2 = we were strolled; the rule says subject + was/were + V-ing) 3) I bought the few books - I bought some or several books ( the word few we can use for just uncountable things like sugar and soda)
For every student-winter holidays are one of the most enjoyable parts of each academic year. On my winter holidays I was at home with my family. Sleeping as long as I want, reading books which I had planned to read, watching interesting films, eating tasty meals by myself, spending time with my best friend and other activities like these – made my holidays colorful. When my mind felt fresh and body felt freedom there was an inspiration to make something new. I thought about my priorities and made some conclusions about my bad habits and desirable qualities. I hope, this year will change more than I can image. Moreover, I was very happy that these holidays gave me a chance to think about things, which I thought important. I have desire to make myself better and I will do it. At school time, I usually see my family only in the evening, after school. So think, after these holidays, we get closer. What about New Year? As every year, we sit together with my family, eating New Year dinner and just enjoy the moment. I think this is a good chance to start some things again. A fresh mind, new ideas and support of my family will help me to achieve my goals. I like these holidays and believe, that this is just beginning.
Do not use questions in your essay. "As every year, we sit together with my family, eating New Year dinner and just enjoy the moment."- As every year, we set together, ate the New Year dinner and just enjoyed the moment.
Hello Freya. I agree with you that holidays give us a feeling of freedom to do anything and I think, that holidays are days in which we can have a fresher view of things in our life. Your essay is not long and its content is somewhat generalized. However, your essay is very easy to understand. Thank you for your hard work! Some of the grammar mistakes I found: 1 paragraph, 1 sentence. "student-winter" - It is not necessary to add "-" sign here. 1 paragraph, sentence before last. "which I thought important." - It sounds inappropriate because of the usage of the word "important". You need to use "were" between "thought" and "important" and also can add "to me". Also I think usage of academic words is also important here and instead of "think about" you can say "ponder about", instead of "things" - "issues". The end result will be: "a chance to ponder about issues which I thought were important to me.". 2 paragraph, 2 sentence. "So think, after these holidays, we get closer.". I believe you wanted to say: "So (I) think, after these holidays, we get closer.". If yes, then it is no major mistake. Of course I am not saying that you made any major mistakes, on the contrary in my opinion you did very well. 3 paragraph, 2 sentence. "As every year, we sit together with my family". Firstly, it will sound better if you say "Every year" without "As" part. Because you use present simple tense and it is not past. In past simple it will be: "Like in every year, I sat together with my family". As you may have already noticed, I changed "we sit" to "I sat". It is not right to say "we sit together with my family" because you are talking about only YOURSELF. In the present simple it will be: "Every year I sit together with my family". LAST PARAGRAPH, LAST SENTENCE. HURRAY!!! It is all about not using "a" here: "this is just beginning." The correct form is: "this is just a beginning.". Yeah, it is your last mistake I paid my attention to, so good luck in your future works, work harder, think deeper, do better!
Hello my Dear Friends . I want tell you any mistakes 1) Don`t use dash between student and winter 2) I thint you start this sentence wrong" Sleeping as long as I want..."
Hi Freya, I read your essay with much interest. You used at least two complex sentences accurately and that is impressive. I found several areas in which you sentences are missing a word such as an article or where you used an incorrect pronoun or where an incorrect/imprecise word was used. When, you write, avoid asking questions. Make statements instead. Look at this list and consider how to rewrite each phrase so that it is grammatically correct. most enjoyable part this holidays *On my winter holidays *When my mind feel fresh and body feel freedom *there became inspiration *I hope, this year will change more than I can image. *things, which I thought *I have desire to make *At school time, I see my family in the evening after school. *What about New Year? *I think this is good chance *Fresh mind, *that this is just beginning.
How I spent my winter holiday ? Winter holidays are one of the best times to relax, because people celebrate the New Year and Christmas. People decorate their homes , cook delicious dishes and buy presents. My winter holidays started on 21st December, after the summative assessment. I spent my winter holidays at home with my family. Honestly, my holidays were not very enthralling because I spent it without my grandmother and grandfather , they went to Russia for the winter holidays by plane . However , I had some interesting moments. For example, I went to the cinema with my friend and after the cinema we ate burgers in café. I spent my New Year at home with my friends and family. It was one of the best moments in the last year. On holidays , I found out a lot of things by reading books and watching the serials. I read a lot of books like “He and She – Mark Levy” and I was watching GAME OF THRONES. This serial is one of the best serials in the world. In my opinion , my winter holidays were not bad , full of funny moments , because I spent it with my family .
Hi, fatcatdog. I truly liked your essay structure. However, there are some tiny mistakes. 1. "...in a cafe." 2. "During the holidays I found out..." will be better
P.S. "GAME OF THRONES is one of the best serials in the world." 1000% agree ;D
My winter holidays I cannot say that my winter holidays were amazing, wonderful and perfect; Nevertheless, these days let me feel happy, fun and I was relaxing. So what I did?! The majority of my holidays, My family and I were in Almaty, so we went to my father. Until the New Year, I came to school, prepared for olimpyada on chemistry, read a book, and all of that. I tried to work on my mistakes in English grammar, so I also read a English book, too. Unfortunately, I prepared for celebration of the New Year,so when it came I forgot about that. I cleaned my home, it was general cleaning, OMG, after that I was so tired. Also I help my mother with setting the table to celebration. Well, my family and I met the New Year together and it was very exciting!. Okay! After all of that, like any typical teenager, I surfered in social network, watched serials and cartoons, because, this kind of pastime let me feel myself relax. During the holiday I found a new friend, and every day we talked until the midnight, sometimes until the 5 o’clock. It was crazy and amazing. All of this happened in Almaty, because of, at third day of the holiday we went to there. So it was my winter holidays, regardless I did not do something helpful, I love it.
Hello, my friend. I found some mistakes in your essay 1. "olympiad" is a correct one 2. "an English book" look at the preposition 3. "I suffered in social..." Hope you will improve)
1)"olympiad" instead of "olympyada"; 2)"an English book" instead of "a English book"; 3)"Also, I helped my mother" if you write in past simple tense; 4)"I surfed the social network" instead of "I surfered in social network" without preposition here.
I liked that you wrote your essay in an openness way, so this method made me read with ease) *1* cannot - can not *2* and perfect; - and perfect. (must be a dot) *3* what I did?! - what did I do?! (based on the grammar rule for the past simple: What/where/ how long + Did + subject + verb1? ) *4* prepared for olimpyada on chemistry - prepared for chemistry olympiad (this sounds more natural English because as says the grammar structure : to prepare for Math olympiad) *5* general cleaning - the general cleaning
My winter holidays in my opinion were very productive and funny. My winter holidays started on 22nd December. On the first day I could not believe my eyes because I got up at 10 o`clock. On the second day we planned to go to the cafe with classmates, but only three people went with me. Every day was simple. I got up at 12 o`clock and ate dinner because I got up in afternoon, did homework on English and Kazakh. At 8 or 9 o`clock I played video games with my best friends. I went to bed at 5 or 6. As a New Year present my parents gave me FIFA 18. I celebrated the New Year with my family and friend. After the New Year party we had a lot of leftover food like other families. We planned to go for a walk again with my class. In my opinion it was very interesting and productive holidays. On 8th January all NIS students went back to school like me. I wish you good luck in 3rd term.
dear,simple panda! I like your essay) But: -My winter holidays in my opinion... (In my opinion, my winter holidays were...) -Every day was simple (I think, you can use "similar" or etc. than "simple, the sentence will be more beautiful) -I went to bed...(In the beginning, you can use linking words, like "Moreover" to show a connection between sentence and its meanings. -My parents gave me a FIFA 18 as a New Year present.(structure of your sentence) -In my point of view, you can leave the detail information, for example you write about leftover food) Good Job
HELLO SIMPLEPANDA You wrote very good essay , however you have some mistakes :
Every day was simple. I got up at 12 o`clock and ate dinner - may be "I had dinner " will be better. I saw that you have used a lot of word " but " - I think if you use " however " , it will be very good sentences .
I spent my winter holidays travelling around. I had a little shock for the first time, when I knew, that my winter holidays lasted 20 days. I was worried about third term, moreover about all knowledge I will lose for 20 days. My mom called me the day before holidays. She said that I must go to Almaty immediately. Here, started my first trip. The way was difficult. However, after nine hours I was in Almaty. I met my relatives and my parents. It is strange feeling: everybody kisses you, says that you become an adult girl; moreover they always ask questions like “Do you remember me?” or “Do you know my name?” The problem is that you never ever saw this person. My mission (to celebrate New Year in Almaty) completed, so I went to Taraz. In that nine hours I started to hate everything connected to buses or sprinters. Despite the fact that I feel ill, I read the book called “Fighting club” by Chuck Palahniuk. I noticed, that people needs people. People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges. Loneliness borders with madness. That’s what happened with main unnamed character (We will call him A). The story starts from A’s insomnia and ends with A’s split personality. I noticed that Chuck Palahniuk’s books are not for all. He writes something, what others are afraid to write. He says words louder than a shout. He opens people’s mind, but closes it too. He is the author, who found a way to my heart. However, at the same time he is a person, I hate the most. He said in his book, that our fathers were our models for God. If our fathers bailed, what does that tell you about God? You have to consider the possibility that God does not like you. He never wanted you. In all probability, he hates you. As a Muslim, I cannot agree with author. He is a person, who propagandizes his wrong ideology. I came to Taraz. I secured all necessary things and went to the railway station. There we faced some challenging issues. I was really exhausted. When we finally sat down, it was 11 o’clock, I became acquainted with M. She was an incredible person, I have ever met. She talked about thing that I couldn’t talk. She said whatever she wanted; she never skipped her emotions and feeling. As it turned out, every student in Astana were like M. They were vital, sometimes really crazy, moreover they were clever. In Astana I understood what “Intellectual students” means. They gave me a confidence that I never had. Due to I was younger than them, they taught me to say MY words; to say what I think and want to say. Thank you for them. We had moments, when we wanted to kill each other, and moments when we needed to support each other. With new power I came to Taraz and I was ready to change this world.
Hello, my friend You have wrote very good essay , however you have some mistakes: 1. To celebrate NEW YEAR - to celebrate THE NEW YEAR. 2. Despite the fact that I feel ill - Despite the fact that I felt ill.
It was a very unusual winter holidays. Nothing like this happened before in my life. The decision to spend an extraordinary weekend was offered to me by my aunt. I went to her house to another city. It was a start of unforgettable time. After a long trip by train I was slightly tired, but the next day I went out for a walk around the city. All day I spent outside on the snow-covered streets and during the evening my aunt and I had a dinner, while watching the Christmas films such as: “Home alone” and others. I stayed with my aunt for the New Year's party. Then, my aunt, her friend and I went abroad. For a long time I was far from my family and ordinary life. As a result, I did not meet the celebration with my parents, but I spent it with a person, who is no less close to me. In a place where I was there was no snow, so the New Year's mood was not there, too. Frankly speaking, this truly upset me, because for me the New Year is associated with the real winter. However, it was an incredible and fascinating time full of beauty and New Year’s magic. My aunt and I met the celebration with loud music and dancing. I can say with a confidence that I will not forget this winter holidays soon.
It was very heartwarming story. I like the structure and your good vocabulary. Try to use linking words instead of "After","then","but" and use another words instead of "New Year" as "long-awaited celebration", because words should not be repeated. Moreover, I like the usage of the word "Frankly speaking" and wish you continue like this.
When I was on holidays, I thought that holidays were wonderful time to relax, to spend time with my family, and enjoy my life. It was nice to start reading or to start doing exciting activities to develop myself. I have planned to do something creative during winter holidays. The first week of our winter holidays I spent time with my family, friends, and relaxed. Also it was a good week; I tried to clear my brain from unnecessary information, started to read the books, and walked. Furthermore, I watched three movies before New Year. It was: "Home alone", "Home alone 2", and "Back to the future". After these films a good mood came to me. On the last days of first week I start preparing for New Year. In my opinion, New Year is the best event, which brings the magic to all people. I met New Year with my family and friends. It was the best time for me. After that event I continued to relax, walk, and spend my time very well. Moreover, it was a trip to ravine on second January, we walked in ravine for 8 hours, passed 14 kilometers, and I did not feel tired after that trip, I felt pleasure. It was good holidays for me, I spent my time productive, and I like it!
Dear, Young Jake. In my opinion, your essay is wonderful and creative. However, you made some mistakes. F. e: - “… I spent time with my family, friends, and relax.” Maybe you will write only “…I spent time with my family, friends.”, without “and relaxing”. -also I don’t think, that you need to put comma before “and” -“… before the New Year” instead of “before New Year”
Interesting story, but I am confused. I can not understand way of your thinking and logic. 1. "When I was on holidays, I thought that holidays were wonderful time to relax, to spend time with my family, and enjoy my life.". I have some queations about this sentence. Firstly, you wrote "I thought". If you used this expression, you were need to explain what waited for next. I can give you example. "I thought this restaurant one of the best places in the world, unfortunately it is not". You should continue your idea, and tell what was on practice. Futhermore, before the holidays, you did not enjoy your life?
2. "The first week of our winter holidays I spent time with my family, friends, and relaxed. Also it was a good week". Check the usage of the word "also", because in this case it is untimely. You can write "It was really a good week", because "Also" is uses for continue idea or add something.
3. Moreover,"I tried to clear my brain from unnecessary information"- "I tried to CLEAN".
4. Try not to use the list. I mean names of films. It will be enough to say just you watched some films.
5.If you read your job one more time, you can notice that you repeated some expressions a lot. For example 1/ I spent time with my "family, friends"[1], and RELAXED[1].2/I met New Year with my "family and friends.[2]".
3/I thought that holidays were wonderful time to RELAX[2].4/After that event I continued to RELAX[3], walk{1},
5/read the books, and walked{2}.6/on second January, we walked{3} in ravine. Try to use the synonyms or academic words.
Dear Young Jake, thank you for your essay. I just want to say that there are some mistakes: 1. ".. I start preparing for New Year."----"I startED preparing for New Year."; 2. ".. I tried to clear my brain from unnecessary information..:----"..cleaN.." 3. Try to use the synonyms of words? it wiil help you to write better; Thank you for paying attention, good luck
My winter holidays Our winter holidays are the long holidays, so we had eighteen days to relax and I started my holidays with a rest. We had nine days before the New 2018 Year. My sister studies in Astana and I decided to prepare a gift for her. I knew what she wants and I went to the shop Centre to buy a star sky projector and a lot of chocolate. We put in our home the big and beautiful fir-tree, cooked a lot of food and decorated the house. Every year we celebrate this event at our house. However, this year we met a new year at my sister's house. After I gave my sister a gift, she gave me a book named “The Master and Margarita” and cute pink T-shirt with an inscription “AC/DC Back in Black”. I liked this gift very much. We met the New Year very well. There were a lot of fireworks, happiness and our favorite food. After we met the New Year, I decided to watch movies and shows to cheer up and do my hobbies like drawing and reading. I liked my winter holidays and I think I had a good rest.
HELLO Hannah21 I like your essay , moreover I like that you could use "to prepare a gift " Yes , you have some mistakes with past tense. However , you did very nice work.
*1* Our winter holidays are the long holidays, - Our winter holidays are the longest holidays, *2* I knew what she wants - I knew what she wanted *3* We put in our home - We put at home *4* cute pink T-shirt - the cute pink T-shirt *5* a new year - the new year
My winter holidays started at December 22 and lasted for whole 18 days. Due to it is a long period, I decided to spend it useful for myself and I just relax.
The first part of holidays I read the fascinating book, which was called “Gone with the wind” written by Margaret Mitchell. It was about a difficult fate of young woman Scarlett, her troublesome choice during the howl and unrequited love. Although, after reading I understood that it was one of the most wonderful books whatever I read.
I celebrated the New Year with the family. I cooked traditional dishes, salads and prepared a festive table with my mom and little sister. Moreover, at 12.00 pm we and our neighbors went to outside and blew up fireworks. Hundreds of colorful fireworks highlighted the dark night sky.
In the second part of holidays I just wanted to relax, so that I watched some movies and serials chosen by me. My list included movies, such as “Paris at any cost”, “Personal customer”, “The Devil wears Prada” and serial “Stranger things”.
On winter holidays I did not do some grandiose things. However, I satisfied and enjoyed my winter holidays.
♥good_reader, I liked your essay, however you have minor mistakes, such as: •"during the howl and unrequited love" it should be like "during the war and unrequited love". XOXO♥
Hello my friend, I like your essay. However, in my opinion here is should be like that: " I just relax."----" I just relaxED", because you start with Past Simple. May be thats all, keep working like that
Winter holidays are my favorite because they are long. However, these two weeks passed quickly. Most of the time, I looked after my niece. It has been only three months since she was born but I attached to her. Thanks to my niece I understood the importance of the family again. The New Year is a long-awaited event. As usually, every year my family and I celebrate the New Year Eve together. Moreover, I would like to do it with my friends too. Perhaps it will be fascinating. By the way I did not have the New Year’s mood this time. Maybe it was because of the lack of the snow. I had plenty of free time on the holidays. Furthermore, my sleeping regimen violated. I woke up at 12.00 PM and went to bed at 2.00 AM. I interested in Korean pop groups in the end of the 2017 year. I watched shows such as “Producer 101” and “Bon Voyage”. “Producer 101” is a reality show about trainees who want to debut. It gave me the motivation. “Bon Voyage” is about travelling of the BTS k-pop group. After watching this show I wrote a list of the countries which I want to visit. Moreover, I planned my own English lessons at home. I spent all days of the holidays with my family at home and I do not worry about it. I had enough time to create new goals. Moreover, I noticed that writing your plans is a good idea. It helps you to concentrate on studying and do not forget significant things. I will try to do my best after this rest. I hope that my next holidays will be more productive.
Dear, Margo. I liked your essay. However, in my opinion it will be better, if you will correct - “…and I do not worry about it” to “…and I do not regret about it”. - “Moreover, I planned my own English lessons at home.” to “Moreover, I planned to work and improve my English language skills while I was at home.” Good Job! I am waiting for your improved essay. XOXO
♥My winter holidays lasted for 18 days. I thought that it would be really long. However, it passed quickly. I did not do anything incredible. Firstly my dad and I went to the village for 2 days. Furthermore, I read a thought-provoking book, which is called “Liar’s Club” from the “True Story” publishing house. After I arrived home, I went to the opening of women’s clothing store “Bakonya”. My family and I celebrated the New Year. We made preparations such as a festive table, decorated a Christmas tree and cleaned up home. Furthermore, my family visited my uncle’s house, there we blew up fireworks and it was fascinating. After the New Year celebration I started to watch Korean dramas, like “While you slept” and read a book, which is called “Gone with the wind” written by Margaret Mitchell. I met my friends, and we hung out. On Saturday, 6 January we met guests at home. We celebrated birth of my niece to the world. I really liked my winter holidays. However I spent time with my parents and relatives. XOXO, •everybodylovesme•♥
I liked that you used only one tense in your essay. However, I think you need to add the conclusion. Moreover, you need to put comma after linking words such as "firstly" and "however"
Hey, dear "everybody loves me"! I was reading your summary, and I fascinated that you have a very good structure of the text, beautiful words and also, without grammar mistakes. I would like to say that you have some minor mistakes: 1)"Firstly..." after this word we must put comma. 2)"I really liked my winter holidays. However I spent time with my parents and relatives." There I did not understand. You said that "you very liked your winter holidays, and also write HOWEVER I spent time with my parents and friends.Maybe like that "I really liked my winter holidays, because I spent time with my parents and relatives." 3) I would like to remind that after limking words we must put comma."However I spent ..."
I like your essay very much! So that keep working and reach own goals!)
21st of December it was the last day of second term. I enjoyed this day. My school made the winter ball, and most of my classmates were in this party. I danced with some of my friends, and became acquainted with a lot of interesting people. Then I came home, and my holiday started.
First time I didn`t do anything, I just slept or surfed in the internet. However, after I helped my mother makes a salad and food for met New Year. It was cool. Nevertheless, came my sister from Almaty and this was one of the greatest moment in 2017. Unfortunately my father could didn`t come, because he must worked. However, when we celebrated holiday we called to him with «WhatsApp», and were on connection.
After New Year I am strolled with my friend. More time I played with my little brother and helped to him with lesson. I was to the celebrated of New Year in the kind garden, and he splendidly told two poems. I went proud with him. Then Santa Claus gave more goodies to my little brother.
In last day of vacation I thought what I do in 2017, and disappointed. I understood a lot time I just wasted. I surfed in the «VK», watched video in «YouTube» , but I could read books, developed my English. So I thing I must change myself, and spent my time useful. When I go to school sure with this, and I thing changing it`s my first goal in this year.
Hello, Marshal Lee. Your essay is pretty good. However, I have some advices for you to improve: 1. "My school organise the winter..." will be better 2. "...surfed on the Internet" I guess 3. "...and food to meet the New Year" is correct one 4. "...brother and helped him with lesson" without preposition Wish you good luck)
1) "I celebrated the New Year in the ..." Third sentence in the third paragraph. I did not understand the word "kind garden", so that, I think that it is "kindergarten" here. 2) "After THE New Year". 3) using "holidays" instead of "vacation" will be better. 4) "I understood that a lot of time I just wasted".
♥Marshal Lee, you have interesting essay with pretty good structure and grammatic. However, you have minor mistakes such as: • "21st of December it was the last day of second term." you should change it to "21st of December was the last day of second term." •"Then I came home" in my mind it should be like "Then I come home". •"came my sister from Almaty" change it to "my sister came from Almaty". •"because he must worked." you should say "because he must to work." • "More time I played with my little brother and helped to him with lesson." - "A lot of time I played with my little brother and helped to him with lessons." XOXO, everybody loves me♥
At the end of the 2nd term the winter holidays came. I remember having many activities planned and although I could not complete them all, I am more than satisfied with how much I have already done.
The winter holidays started and I decided to relax from school for the first 3 days. I was not doing anything beneficial for my health, nor was I doing anything exciting or thrilling. I was just relaxing. Taking a nap, playing on my laptop, watching movies or reading interesting stories is what I had done. The First three days passed at a very leisurely pace and I really enjoyed them.
On the fourth day I started planning some activities. I made my everyday schedule for the winter holidays. Physical and mind exercises were included in that everyday schedule, it was really detailed.
Following the schedule, I devoted some days to improving my skills. For example, I tried working with computer: practicing by editing pictures, making short and basic animations or writing simple programs.
Some days were casual. In spite of the fact that I spent this days following my plans, they passed without anything special. I got up at 7 o’clock, did morning exercises, cooked a simple breakfast, practiced German, took a walk in the park, tried to write a story, read a book and did many similar things.
A small part of the winter holidays was left without anything planned. Those were days in which I watched movies, played video games with my big brother, watched him drawing pictures using a graphic tablet or helped my parents.
All in all, those were days I spent interacting with my family.
However, not all days were included in my schedule. Days like New Year, times to go on a mountain trip or celebrations are days which I call “Valuable time”, so I spent them without any plans. “Valuable time” is not to be spent with plans, because it is time to meet something unexpected. Release dates of movies and books, which I am interested in, are also included in “Valuable time” list.
In conclusion, I can say that I always try to enjoy my free time to the fullest and this time is no exception. Mixing rest with exercises brought me much pleasure. Reminiscing about the way in which I spent this winter holidays: “I have not spent them in vain.” – is a perfect expression to describe my feelings.
My winter holidays I like all holidays, no matter if it is summer or winter. I was trying to not think about a school. In recent times I enjoy watching movies in the cinema. At the time showed "Jumanji" and "Business in Kazakh". I decided to go the movies with my friends and family. The remaining time I spent on the preparation of the New Year. I helped my mother preparing for New Year. I cooked pie, pizza and pancakes also I prepared salads. As for me the most important moments from the holiday is to get gifts. What do you think that I got as a gift? From the summer I think about a new perfume. Whence they knew I do not know but I was given a new perfume. After New Year began usually days then I read a half of the book. Soon I have to go to school.
♥Beautiful Moon, your essay is intresting, you have good structure. However you have some minor mistakes such as: •"I was trying to not think" should be like: "I was trying not to think". •"about a school" should be like "about school", because if you are talking about school, while you a student, you should not use articles. XOXO, everybody loves me♥
HELLO Beautiful Moon You did your best, however you have some mistakes: 1)In recent times I enjoy watching movies in the cinema. - * In recent times I enjoyed by watching the movies at the cinema . 2) The remaining time I spent on the preparation of the New Year. - "The remaining time I spent on the preparation FOR the New Year". 3) I helped my mother preparing for New Year. - " I helped my mother with preparing for the New Year". 4)As for me the most important moments from the holiday is to get gifts. - may be " the most paramount MOMENT " because you have used *is *. 5) After New Year began usually days then I read a half of the book. Soon I have to go to school. - After The New Year days started begin as usual. Good luck!
My winter holidays! My winter holidays started...I was so glad to become aware of this event. I had many different plans for these holidays. On my first days I anticipated the arrival of my lovely sister and mother. So when they came back home I was really happy to see them. Moreover, I spent my free time with my friends by going and training at the sports field. Street workout is an idea to train with only your body weight in the special sports field, without sports equipment and paying money in the gym. My friends and I love this so much, because it is really funny and at the same time has big benefits. Happy New Year!!! I eagerly awaited that event. My family and I made a lot of delicious salads. We also went to the bazaar to buy tasty fruits, cake, spices. We met New Year in domestic surroundings with happy mood. Furthermore, I had my birthday. It is a special day of each human in the world. I was so happy on that day, but at the same time, I had a little bit sadness. I became fifteen years old teenager. This age requires me being responsible and serious. Unfortunately, my childhood passed, and now I must think about future. Moreover, I went with my friends to the cinema to watch the film called "The greatest showman". In main characters were Hugh Jackman, Zak Efron and others famous actors.I actually enjoyed watching this interesting film with my friends. Simultaneously I did a lot of activities in my leisure time. I started reading books for time management and self-development. Moreover, I had a challenge of watching all Harry Potter's movies:) It was funny and gripping. While I watched these films, I did not think about anything, I just relaxed. In conclusion, I would like to say that these winter holidays were very exciting, unforgettable and productive. At this time, I had a lot of important events that I will remember. I became aware that time is running out and I should have good moments and enjoy right now!)
I spent the winter holidays very well! My friend and i were preparing for the new year with great pleasure and they thought. Me changed into Santa and Snow Maiden,bought a lot of presents for our relatives and congratulated them. New Year is my favorite holiday. I believe that this yaer will bring me all the best.
Hey, Sweet pear. In my mind, your essay did not finished. However, you have some mistakes such as: •"Me changed into Santa and Snow Maiden" should be like "I changed into Santa(or Snow Maiden, because, you can not be Santa and Snow Maiden at the same time). Maybe you mean that you and your friend changed, so you should write "We changed into Santa and Snow Maiden" •"New Year is my favorite holiday." in my mind it should be like "The New Year is one of my favorite holidays" •"I believe that this yaer will bring me all the best." it should be "I believe that this year will bring me all the best." •"My friend and i were preparing for the new year with great pleasure and they thought." I think, you should write some words with capital letters "My friend and I were preparing for the New Year with great pleasure and they thought." Moreover, I did not understood, what means "they thought". •In your essay used only simple words, you able to write high level words, like instand of "spent" - "consumed", "belive" - "trust" or "have faith in" and e.t.c. Sweet pear, you should finish your essay. Furthermore, work on your mistakes. XOXO♥
Every year students have their winter holidays. They usually last for 2 weeks: from New Year’s Day till the 9th of January. I am sure that all of us look forward to this time because its a great chance to sleep in late .and to do what we want. As for me I always sleep till 9 a.m. during my winter holidays. Then I turn on my TV and lie in my bed for another hour.
ReplyDeleteWinter holidays are even more exciting because we celebrate New Year. Our mood is joyful. The whole atmosphere is full of magic. People exchange presents, decorate their homes, cook delicious food, visit each other and have parties.
If the weather is cold I prefer to stay at home or visit my friends. They can also come to my place. We play computer games gtA5 or RAINBOW SIX, surf the Internet or watch films. In warm weather we go to the cinema or a café.
This holiday was astonishing ,beacuse i met New Year with my parents and spent time with my friends.I hope that everbody liked their holiday.Happy New Year !
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DeleteHello, Mr. Toni Kross. Like your essay, because i learn word astonishing. But you have mistaken in word "because". Please, write names computer games like GTA5 or Rainbow six sidge, not give list in essay. Furthermore, your used in 3rd sentence full stop before "and".
DeleteToni, you wrote facsinating and wonderful essay with using good grammatic roles. However, you have a bit mistakes. For example, "I" in English write by capital letter and some not important mistakes, but I hope that they appeared from technical mistakes. Good luck and remember that it is not end so do not stop to study new things.
DeleteDear Toni Kross, our assignment was to describe Winter Holidays. Moreover, we should write essay in past tenses. However, Your essay is very good and fascinating.
Delete1) After because we do not use comma.
2) beacuse should be because.
3) i should be I
Simple panda,thanks,but i do not agree with you.Previous commentor with high quality of English sad me that i need to write a list of the things which i wrote.
Delete-Because, not beacuse
Delete-I met THE New Year
Good Job!
Hello, Toni Kross.
Delete1)beacuse-because;
2)I is about you, so you will write it with capital letter;
3)3rd sentence-its-no contractions, will be 'it is';
4)9s sentence-specify it in which tence,I am confused,because people repeats this activities every year on the eve of New Year, so I think that it will be better to write "Usually, during the New Year people exchange presents, decorate their homes and etc.". However, if it is in past tence, add -ed;
5)3rd sentence-no full stop before 'and'.
6)3rd paragraph-it is in past tence, correct "we go to the cinema" to "we went to the cinema";
7)'We play computer games'-"We played"
Please, read assignment again, because you were need to write it in past. However, you wrote your essay in general,it feels like you are describing your routine. Pay attention to details.
Finally, pleas do not write full words with capital letters as you wrote 'RAINBOW SIX'. It will be enough to just write first letter wuth capital letter. If another commentators wrote your mictakes, try to read all of them and correct your mistakes. Thank you!
Dear, Amy!
ReplyDeleteHow are you? How is your winter holiday going?
I would like to write about my winter holiday. It was very exciting. Most of the time, I was at home with my family.
My siblings and I went to the cinema the day before Christmas. We chose to watch a cartoon called “Ferdinand”. I liked it very much, because it is about bulls that can teach us about real love for our friends. I am of the view that justice always wins. In general, I think it is about spiritual beauty.
At 8 o’clock I sat with my family to meet the New Year. Everybody at home was happy and started to share with their positivity. Moreover, we made wishes to each other as we anticipated the New Year. Later we decided to take a family photo with the Christmas tree. It was a really miraculous night! I like this New Year atmosphere!
Next day my grandmother visited us like Santa Claus. She came with a lot of presents for her grandchildren!
Overall, my winter holidays were fascinating!
***your essay is differ from others because it is wrotten in a letter form with good grammar and context. That is why your essay is fascinatingly, and I liked it very much
Delete***please, pay attention to these moments:
-the day before Christmas - at the day before Christmas
-that justice - that a justice (with an article)
Dear, BlackPink. Your essay very interesting and informative. You replace a linking and new words. Good job!
Delete1) Before because we do not use comma.
Good job,BlackPink. I like the usage of words such as spiritual,anticipated,miraculous. Structure is good as vocabulary.
DeleteToday is the second day of our new term. Now, I would like to share with you some information about my winter holidays. Ok, let`s start!
ReplyDeleteIn fact, our holiday lasted for 15 days, but if the weekends were included, then we had about 20 days of holidays at all. I spent my winter holidays in Taraz, at home actually.
The first activity that I did was going to additional lessons on subjects such as English and World History. This lasted for the 5-6 days. Secondly, I was a ‘’perfect daughter’’ to my mum. For this I cooked some food including breakfast, lunch and dinner. Furthermore, I cleaned my home and took care of my brother and sister. Moreover, I watched soap operas and was surfing in the internet in my free time. Furthermore, in holidays I read 2 books from the world literature.
At the end of the holidays, I felt very satisfied about my work and results. In addition, I consider that these activities indicate my self-development, my passion for learning and self-improvement.
To sum up, in my winter holidays I did not just waste my time, and as a result I came to school with the wonderful mood!
Hello, chocolate_!
DeleteI liked your essay very much. However, I have some advices for you to improve it.
1. "...surfing on the Internet..."
2. "Furthemore, during my holidays I read..." sounds better
Wish you good luck)
Deletedear, friend) your essay is wonderful! I didn't find any mistakes no matter how hard I try. There are good things that I liked in your essay:
*good academic words such as indicate or passion
*using of linking words
*correct grammar
Thank you for your hard work!
*a ‘’perfect daughter’’ to my mum->for my mOm:)
DeleteIt's cool that you've got some minor mistakes. I liked the style of your writing, so I'm waiting for your other essays!
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DeleteI am pleased with the improvements that you have made as it reads very well. However, I would also suggest these minor adjustments... it will then be perfect! Well done :)
DeleteThe first activity that I did was go...
Surfing the Internet...
Furthermore, in the holidays...
2 books from world literature...
I came to school in a very mood!
My winter holidays
ReplyDeleteI spent my winter holidays the same as how the majority of people celebrated their winter holidays. I think you agree with me that this celebration is encouraging. For example, I was playing computer games, watching serials, cleaning home and other stuff. I didn`t do something special and just relaxed. My family was at home only half of all my holidays, so we were home and preparing to New Year.
New Year was funny as well as encouraging. However, we did not buy firework. Subsequently it was little bit sad thing for me because it is my favorite action in this celebration. I hope next year we will buy it. We prepared two days before the celebration. On New Year’s Day starting from 18 o`clock neighbors and relatives came and we went their home too. At twelve o`clock we watched Nursultan Nazarbayev`s speech and drank beverages.
As you see my holidays was full of positive, relax and other different positive feelings. I was playing with my best friend, watching serials and other good as well as my favorite stuff.
These holidays were simple as usual days, but it gave me energy and power to learn new information at school.
Very good essay. You improved your essay by changing/replacing some words to linking words. However, please work with articles. Nice work!
Delete1)neighbors should be neighbours
2)preparing to New Year should be prepare + action. For example , The sixth-form students are preparing to take their A levels. Prepare for + noun. Example: I was busily preparing for their arrival.
Thank you for comment and for new information about prepare rule!
Delete*I liked that your essay is written in modest and frank form) This indicates your special style of writing (because you are talking about a lifelong state of every person)
Deletehowever, it would be better if you change these moments in your essay:
1) and other stuff. - and other daytime activities (it sounds better and seems not rude like "stuff")
2) so we were home - so we were AT home (the word home always goes with the preposition "at")
3) was little bit sad thing - was A little bit sad thing (with article)
thanks, I have learnt the new linking word as "Subsequently"
3)
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DeleteI'm satisfied with your work.
Delete1. Try to use more linking words
2. "As you see my holidays was full of positive, relax and other different positive feelings."-"holidays WERE", because you wrote "holidayS".
3. As well as in this sentence, you can use the word "refreshment" instead of "relax".
4. In my opinion, it will be better if "At twelve o`clock we watched Nursultan Nazarbayev`s speech and drank beverages." in this sentence you could write "we watched "our president's speech", because some readers from other coutries may not know this name.
5. "it gave me energy and power to learn new information at school.". In my point of view, it could be better if you wrote "it gave full of positive emotions to get knowledge better" instead of simple "learn new information".
6."We prepared two days before the celebration." you can upgrade it by changing some words for "We started preparations two days before the celebration" or "Our New Year's routine started two days before the long-awaited celebration."
I love it! It is really an improved version of the previous one. You communicated clearly your ideas in this version. It is clear from me who are reading the essay on what you did in your Winter Holiday! Just remember my suggestions in the previous one and keep on writing! Good job!
DeleteMy winter holiday started on the 22nd of December and has finished yesterday. Moreover, these holidays were very special for me, I found new friends, already helped my brother and mum with homework’s. When my friends returned to their hometown, I was deciding to write letters for them and it was very enthralling. We exchanged thoughts, shared and just chatted, kept in touch.
ReplyDeleteEvery day, I and my friends go to the outside. We were strolled or played a computer games / PS4 such as Fifa 18 in the computer / PS4 clubs. Also we celebrated birthday of my friend. It was so cool and unimaginable.
In the same time we were preparing to the New Year. Yes, I know that it was difficult but we did not give up. However, it was so sad that we did not buy fireworks.
Furthermore, I practiced my hobby of reading books. I bought the few books, like Harry Potter and the cursed child, I am legend and etc. but I read only one of them. When I was reading books I did not notice that New Year is near as well as my family celebrated the New Year 2018! In my opinion, this New 2018 year was very unusual and fascinating.
The End!
Dear Hames,
DeleteYour essay become much better,it is good that you pay attention for the peoples comments.However,you need to take the names of the books in "",because someone might thing that you are telling about yourself.
*I have noticed that your essay has some new information with details ,which makes your text differ than others. In addition, I am glad that you changed some mistakes according to my previous comment!
Delete* please ,make it better by taking care of these mistakes:
1) played a computer games - played the computer games (gameS in plural form,so we can`t use the article "a")
2) We were strolled or played - We were strolling or playing (because according to the rules of Past continues we can not use subject+ were + verb2 = we were strolled; the rule says subject + was/were + V-ing)
3) I bought the few books - I bought some or several books ( the word few we can use for just uncountable things like sugar and soda)
For every student-winter holidays are one of the most enjoyable parts of each academic year. On my winter holidays I was at home with my family. Sleeping as long as I want, reading books which I had planned to read, watching interesting films, eating tasty meals by myself, spending time with my best friend and other activities like these – made my holidays colorful. When my mind felt fresh and body felt freedom there was an inspiration to make something new. I thought about my priorities and made some conclusions about my bad habits and desirable qualities. I hope, this year will change more than I can image. Moreover, I was very happy that these holidays gave me a chance to think about things, which I thought important. I have desire to make myself better and I will do it.
ReplyDeleteAt school time, I usually see my family only in the evening, after school. So think, after these holidays, we get closer.
What about New Year? As every year, we sit together with my family, eating New Year dinner and just enjoy the moment. I think this is a good chance to start some things again. A fresh mind, new ideas and support of my family will help me to achieve my goals.
I like these holidays and believe, that this is just beginning.
Do not use questions in your essay.
Delete"As every year, we sit together with my family, eating New Year dinner and just enjoy the moment."- As every year, we set together, ate the New Year dinner and just enjoyed the moment.
Hello Freya. I agree with you that holidays give us a feeling of freedom to do anything and I think, that holidays are days in which we can have a fresher view of things in our life. Your essay is not long and its content is somewhat generalized. However, your essay is very easy to understand. Thank you for your hard work!
DeleteSome of the grammar mistakes I found:
1 paragraph, 1 sentence. "student-winter" - It is not necessary to add "-" sign here.
1 paragraph, sentence before last. "which I thought important." - It sounds inappropriate because of the usage of the word "important". You need to use "were" between "thought" and "important" and also can add "to me". Also I think usage of academic words is also important here and instead of "think about" you can say "ponder about", instead of "things" - "issues". The end result will be: "a chance to ponder about issues which I thought were important to me.".
2 paragraph, 2 sentence. "So think, after these holidays, we get closer.". I believe you wanted to say: "So (I) think, after these holidays, we get closer.". If yes, then it is no major mistake. Of course I am not saying that you made any major mistakes, on the contrary in my opinion you did very well.
3 paragraph, 2 sentence. "As every year, we sit together with my family". Firstly, it will sound better if you say "Every year" without "As" part. Because you use present simple tense and it is not past. In past simple it will be: "Like in every year, I sat together with my family". As you may have already noticed, I changed "we sit" to "I sat". It is not right to say "we sit together with my family" because you are talking about only YOURSELF. In the present simple it will be: "Every year I sit together with my family".
LAST PARAGRAPH, LAST SENTENCE. HURRAY!!! It is all about not using "a" here: "this is just beginning." The correct form is: "this is just a beginning.". Yeah, it is your last mistake I paid my attention to, so good luck in your future works, work harder, think deeper, do better!
Hello my Dear Friends . I want tell you any mistakes
Delete1) Don`t use dash between student and winter
2) I thint you start this sentence wrong" Sleeping as long as I want..."
Hi Freya,
DeleteI read your essay with much interest. You used at least two complex sentences accurately and that is impressive. I found several areas in which you sentences are missing a word such as an article or where you used an incorrect pronoun or where an incorrect/imprecise word was used. When, you write, avoid asking questions. Make statements instead. Look at this list and consider how to rewrite each phrase so that it is grammatically correct.
most enjoyable part
this holidays
*On my winter holidays
*When my mind feel fresh and body feel freedom
*there became inspiration
*I hope, this year will change more than I can image.
*things, which I thought
*I have desire to make
*At school time, I see my family in the evening after school.
*What about New Year?
*I think this is good chance
*Fresh mind,
*that this is just beginning.
How I spent my winter holiday ?
ReplyDeleteWinter holidays are one of the best times to relax, because people celebrate the New Year and Christmas. People decorate their homes , cook delicious dishes and buy presents.
My winter holidays started on 21st December, after the summative assessment. I spent my winter holidays at home with my family. Honestly, my holidays were not very enthralling because I spent it without my grandmother and grandfather , they went to Russia for the winter holidays by plane . However , I had some interesting moments. For example, I went to the cinema with my friend and after the cinema we ate burgers in café.
I spent my New Year at home with my friends and family. It was one of the best moments in the last year.
On holidays , I found out a lot of things by reading books and watching the serials.
I read a lot of books like “He and She – Mark Levy” and I was watching GAME OF THRONES. This serial is one of the best serials in the world.
In my opinion , my winter holidays were not bad , full of funny moments , because I spent it with my family .
Hi, fatcatdog. I truly liked your essay structure. However, there are some tiny mistakes.
Delete1. "...in a cafe."
2. "During the holidays I found out..." will be better
P.S.
"GAME OF THRONES is one of the best serials in the world." 1000% agree ;D
My winter holidays
ReplyDeleteI cannot say that my winter holidays were amazing, wonderful and perfect; Nevertheless, these days let me feel happy, fun and I was relaxing. So what I did?!
The majority of my holidays, My family and I were in Almaty, so we went to my father. Until the New Year, I came to school, prepared for olimpyada on chemistry, read a book, and all of that. I tried to work on my mistakes in English grammar, so I also read a English book, too. Unfortunately, I prepared for celebration of the New Year,so when it came I forgot about that. I cleaned my home, it was general cleaning, OMG, after that I was so tired. Also I help my mother with setting the table to celebration. Well, my family and I met the New Year together and it was very exciting!. Okay!
After all of that, like any typical teenager, I surfered in social network, watched serials and cartoons, because, this kind of pastime let me feel myself relax. During the holiday I found a new friend, and every day we talked until the midnight, sometimes until the 5 o’clock. It was crazy and amazing.
All of this happened in Almaty, because of, at third day of the holiday we went to there.
So it was my winter holidays, regardless I did not do something helpful, I love it.
Hello, my friend. I found some mistakes in your essay
Delete1. "olympiad" is a correct one
2. "an English book" look at the preposition
3. "I suffered in social..."
Hope you will improve)
1)"olympiad" instead of "olympyada";
Delete2)"an English book" instead of "a English book";
3)"Also, I helped my mother" if you write in past simple tense;
4)"I surfed the social network" instead of "I surfered in social network" without preposition here.
I liked that you wrote your essay in an openness way, so this method made me read with ease)
Delete*1* cannot - can not
*2* and perfect; - and perfect. (must be a dot)
*3* what I did?! - what did I do?! (based on the grammar rule for the past simple: What/where/ how long + Did + subject + verb1? )
*4* prepared for olimpyada on chemistry - prepared for chemistry olympiad (this sounds more natural English because as says the grammar structure : to prepare for Math olympiad)
*5* general cleaning - the general cleaning
My winter holidays in my opinion were very productive and funny. My winter holidays started on 22nd December. On the first day I could not believe my eyes because I got up at 10 o`clock. On the second day we planned to go to the cafe with classmates, but only three people went with me. Every day was simple. I got up at 12 o`clock and ate dinner because I got up in afternoon, did homework on English and Kazakh. At 8 or 9 o`clock I played video games with my best friends. I went to bed at 5 or 6. As a New Year present my parents gave me FIFA 18. I celebrated the New Year with my family and friend. After the New Year party we had a lot of leftover food like other families. We planned to go for a walk again with my class. In my opinion it was very interesting and productive holidays. On 8th January all NIS students went back to school like me. I wish you good luck in 3rd term.
ReplyDeletedear,simple panda! I like your essay) But:
Delete-My winter holidays in my opinion... (In my opinion, my winter holidays were...)
-Every day was simple (I think, you can use "similar" or etc. than "simple, the sentence will be more beautiful)
-I went to bed...(In the beginning, you can use linking words, like "Moreover" to show a connection between sentence and its meanings.
-My parents gave me a FIFA 18 as a New Year present.(structure of your sentence)
-In my point of view, you can leave the detail information, for example you write about leftover food)
Good Job
HELLO SIMPLEPANDA
DeleteYou wrote very good essay , however you have some mistakes :
Every day was simple. I got up at 12 o`clock and ate dinner - may be "I had dinner " will be better.
I saw that you have used a lot of word " but " - I think if you use " however " , it will be very good sentences .
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI spent my winter holidays travelling around. I had a little shock for the first time, when I knew, that my winter holidays lasted 20 days. I was worried about third term, moreover about all knowledge I will lose for 20 days.
ReplyDeleteMy mom called me the day before holidays. She said that I must go to Almaty immediately. Here, started my first trip. The way was difficult. However, after nine hours I was in Almaty.
I met my relatives and my parents. It is strange feeling: everybody kisses you, says that you become an adult girl; moreover they always ask questions like “Do you remember me?” or “Do you know my name?” The problem is that you never ever saw this person.
My mission (to celebrate New Year in Almaty) completed, so I went to Taraz. In that nine hours I started to hate everything connected to buses or sprinters. Despite the fact that I feel ill, I read the book called “Fighting club” by Chuck Palahniuk. I noticed, that people needs people. People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges. Loneliness borders with madness. That’s what happened with main unnamed character (We will call him A). The story starts from A’s insomnia and ends with A’s split personality. I noticed that Chuck Palahniuk’s books are not for all. He writes something, what others are afraid to write. He says words louder than a shout. He opens people’s mind, but closes it too. He is the author, who found a way to my heart. However, at the same time he is a person, I hate the most. He said in his book, that our fathers were our models for God. If our fathers bailed, what does that tell you about God? You have to consider the possibility that God does not like you. He never wanted you. In all probability, he hates you. As a Muslim, I cannot agree with author. He is a person, who propagandizes his wrong ideology.
I came to Taraz. I secured all necessary things and went to the railway station. There we faced some challenging issues. I was really exhausted. When we finally sat down, it was 11 o’clock, I became acquainted with M. She was an incredible person, I have ever met. She talked about thing that I couldn’t talk. She said whatever she wanted; she never skipped her emotions and feeling. As it turned out, every student in Astana were like M. They were vital, sometimes really crazy, moreover they were clever. In Astana I understood what “Intellectual students” means. They gave me a confidence that I never had. Due to I was younger than them, they taught me to say MY words; to say what I think and want to say. Thank you for them. We had moments, when we wanted to kill each other, and moments when we needed to support each other.
With new power I came to Taraz and I was ready to change this world.
Hello, my friend
ReplyDeleteYou have wrote very good essay , however you have some mistakes:
1. To celebrate NEW YEAR - to celebrate THE NEW YEAR.
2. Despite the fact that I feel ill - Despite the fact that I felt ill.
It was a very unusual winter holidays. Nothing like this happened before in my life. The decision to spend an extraordinary weekend was offered to me by my aunt. I went to her house to another city. It was a start of unforgettable time.
ReplyDeleteAfter a long trip by train I was slightly tired, but the next day I went out for a walk around the city. All day I spent outside on the snow-covered streets and during the evening my aunt and I had a dinner, while watching the Christmas films such as: “Home alone” and others. I stayed with my aunt for the New Year's party. Then, my aunt, her friend and I went abroad. For a long time I was far from my family and ordinary life. As a result, I did not meet the celebration with my parents, but I spent it with a person, who is no less close to me. In a place where I was there was no snow, so the New Year's mood was not there, too. Frankly speaking, this truly upset me, because for me the New Year is associated with the real winter.
However, it was an incredible and fascinating time full of beauty and New Year’s magic. My aunt and I met the celebration with loud music and dancing. I can say with a confidence that I will not forget this winter holidays soon.
[a very unusual winter holidays] We do not use "a" with plural things.
DeleteMoreover, we do not use a comma before because.
It was very heartwarming story. I like the structure and your good vocabulary.
DeleteTry to use linking words instead of "After","then","but" and use another words instead of "New Year" as "long-awaited celebration", because words should not be repeated.
Moreover, I like the usage of the word "Frankly speaking" and wish you continue like this.
When I was on holidays, I thought that holidays were wonderful time to relax, to spend time with my family, and enjoy my life. It was nice to start reading or to start doing exciting activities to develop myself. I have planned to do something creative during winter holidays.
ReplyDeleteThe first week of our winter holidays I spent time with my family, friends, and relaxed. Also it was a good week; I tried to clear my brain from unnecessary information, started to read the books, and walked. Furthermore, I watched three movies before New Year. It was: "Home alone", "Home alone 2", and "Back to the future". After these films a good mood came to me. On the last days of first week I start preparing for New Year.
In my opinion, New Year is the best event, which brings the magic to all people. I met New Year with my family and friends. It was the best time for me.
After that event I continued to relax, walk, and spend my time very well. Moreover, it was a trip to ravine on second January, we walked in ravine for 8 hours, passed 14 kilometers, and I did not feel tired after that trip, I felt pleasure.
It was good holidays for me, I spent my time productive, and I like it!
Dear, Young Jake. In my opinion, your essay is wonderful and creative. However, you made some mistakes. F. e:
Delete- “… I spent time with my family, friends, and relax.” Maybe you will write only “…I spent time with my family, friends.”, without “and relaxing”.
-also I don’t think, that you need to put comma before “and”
-“… before the New Year” instead of “before New Year”
Interesting story, but I am confused. I can not understand way of your thinking and logic.
Delete1. "When I was on holidays, I thought that holidays were wonderful time to relax, to spend time with my family, and enjoy my life.". I have some queations about this sentence. Firstly, you wrote "I thought". If you used this expression, you were need to explain what waited for next. I can give you example. "I thought this restaurant one of the best places in the world, unfortunately it is not". You should continue your idea, and tell what was on practice.
Futhermore, before the holidays, you did not enjoy your life?
2. "The first week of our winter holidays I spent time with my family, friends, and relaxed. Also it was a good week". Check the usage of the word "also", because in this case it is untimely. You can write "It was really a good week", because "Also" is uses for continue idea or add something.
3. Moreover,"I tried to clear my brain from unnecessary information"- "I tried to CLEAN".
4. Try not to use the list. I mean names of films. It will be enough to say just you watched some films.
5.If you read your job one more time, you can notice that you repeated some expressions a lot. For example 1/ I spent time with my "family, friends"[1], and RELAXED[1].2/I met New Year with my "family and friends.[2]".
3/I thought that holidays were wonderful time to RELAX[2].4/After that event I continued to RELAX[3], walk{1},
5/read the books, and walked{2}.6/on second January, we walked{3} in ravine.
Try to use the synonyms or academic words.
Thank you.
Dear Young Jake, thank you for your essay. I just want to say that there are some mistakes:
Delete1. ".. I start preparing for New Year."----"I startED preparing for New Year.";
2. ".. I tried to clear my brain from unnecessary information..:----"..cleaN.."
3. Try to use the synonyms of words? it wiil help you to write better;
Thank you for paying attention, good luck
My winter holidays
ReplyDeleteOur winter holidays are the long holidays, so we had eighteen days to relax and I started my holidays with a rest. We had nine days before the New 2018 Year.
My sister studies in Astana and I decided to prepare a gift for her. I knew what she wants and I went to the shop Centre to buy a star sky projector and a lot of chocolate. We put in our home the big and beautiful fir-tree, cooked a lot of food and decorated the house. Every year we celebrate this event at our house. However, this year we met a new year at my sister's house. After I gave my sister a gift, she gave me a book named “The Master and Margarita” and cute pink T-shirt with an inscription “AC/DC Back in Black”. I liked this gift very much. We met the New Year very well. There were a lot of fireworks, happiness and our favorite food. After we met the New Year, I decided to watch movies and shows to cheer up and do my hobbies like drawing and reading.
I liked my winter holidays and I think I had a good rest.
1)"Our winter holidays was long."
Delete2)"...at the house of my sister."
3)"After the meeting of New Year..."
4)"...did my hobbies"
HELLO Hannah21
DeleteI like your essay , moreover I like that you could use "to prepare a gift "
Yes , you have some mistakes with past tense. However , you did very nice work.
*1* Our winter holidays are the long holidays, - Our winter holidays are the longest holidays,
Delete*2* I knew what she wants - I knew what she wanted
*3* We put in our home - We put at home
*4* cute pink T-shirt - the cute pink T-shirt
*5* a new year - the new year
My winter holidays started at December 22 and lasted for whole 18 days. Due to it is a long period, I decided to spend it useful for myself and I just relax.
ReplyDeleteThe first part of holidays I read the fascinating book, which was called “Gone with the wind” written by Margaret Mitchell. It was about a difficult fate of young woman Scarlett, her troublesome choice during the howl and unrequited love. Although, after reading I understood that it was one of the most wonderful books whatever I read.
I celebrated the New Year with the family. I cooked traditional dishes, salads and prepared a festive table with my mom and little sister. Moreover, at 12.00 pm we and our neighbors went to outside and blew up fireworks. Hundreds of colorful fireworks highlighted the dark night sky.
In the second part of holidays I just wanted to relax, so that I watched some movies and serials chosen by me. My list included movies, such as “Paris at any cost”, “Personal customer”, “The Devil wears Prada” and serial “Stranger things”.
On winter holidays I did not do some grandiose things. However, I satisfied and enjoyed my winter holidays.
♥good_reader, I liked your essay, however you have minor mistakes, such as:
Delete•"during the howl and unrequited love" it should be like "during the war and unrequited love".
XOXO♥
Hello my friend, I like your essay. However, in my opinion here is should be like that: " I just relax."----" I just relaxED", because you start with Past Simple. May be thats all, keep working like that
DeleteWinter holidays are my favorite because they are long. However, these two weeks passed quickly. Most of the time, I looked after my niece. It has been only three months since she was born but I attached to her. Thanks to my niece I understood the importance of the family again. The New Year is a long-awaited event. As usually, every year my family and I celebrate the New Year Eve together. Moreover, I would like to do it with my friends too. Perhaps it will be fascinating. By the way I did not have the New Year’s mood this time. Maybe it was because of the lack of the snow.
ReplyDeleteI had plenty of free time on the holidays. Furthermore, my sleeping regimen violated. I woke up at 12.00 PM and went to bed at 2.00 AM. I interested in Korean pop groups in the end of the 2017 year. I watched shows such as “Producer 101” and “Bon Voyage”. “Producer 101” is a reality show about trainees who want to debut. It gave me the motivation. “Bon Voyage” is about travelling of the BTS k-pop group. After watching this show I wrote a list of the countries which I want to visit. Moreover, I planned my own English lessons at home.
I spent all days of the holidays with my family at home and I do not worry about it. I had enough time to create new goals. Moreover, I noticed that writing your plans is a good idea. It helps you to concentrate on studying and do not forget significant things. I will try to do my best after this rest. I hope that my next holidays will be more productive.
Dear, Margo. I liked your essay. However, in my opinion it will be better, if you will correct
Delete- “…and I do not worry about it” to “…and I do not regret about it”.
- “Moreover, I planned my own English lessons at home.” to “Moreover, I planned to work and improve my English language skills while I was at home.”
Good Job! I am waiting for your improved essay. XOXO
♥My winter holidays lasted for 18 days. I thought that it would be really long. However, it passed quickly. I did not do anything incredible. Firstly my dad and I went to the village for 2 days. Furthermore, I read a thought-provoking book, which is called “Liar’s Club” from the “True Story” publishing house. After I arrived home, I went to the opening of women’s clothing store “Bakonya”.
ReplyDeleteMy family and I celebrated the New Year. We made preparations such as a festive table, decorated a Christmas tree and cleaned up home. Furthermore, my family visited my uncle’s house, there we blew up fireworks and it was fascinating.
After the New Year celebration I started to watch Korean dramas, like “While you slept” and read a book, which is called “Gone with the wind” written by Margaret Mitchell.
I met my friends, and we hung out. On Saturday, 6 January we met guests at home. We celebrated birth of my niece to the world.
I really liked my winter holidays. However I spent time with my parents and relatives.
XOXO, •everybodylovesme•♥
I liked that you used only one tense in your essay. However, I think you need to add the conclusion. Moreover, you need to put comma after linking words such as "firstly" and "however"
DeleteHey, dear "everybody loves me"! I was reading your summary, and I fascinated that you have a very good structure of the text, beautiful words and also, without grammar mistakes.
DeleteI would like to say that you have some minor mistakes:
1)"Firstly..." after this word we must put comma.
2)"I really liked my winter holidays. However I spent time with my parents and relatives." There I did not understand. You said that "you very liked your winter holidays, and also write HOWEVER I spent time with my parents and friends.Maybe like that "I really liked my winter holidays, because I spent time with my parents and relatives."
3) I would like to remind that after limking words we must put comma."However I spent ..."
I like your essay very much! So that keep working and reach own goals!)
21st of December it was the last day of second term. I enjoyed this day. My school made the winter ball, and most of my classmates were in this party. I danced with some of my friends, and became acquainted with a lot of interesting people. Then I came home, and my holiday started.
ReplyDeleteFirst time I didn`t do anything, I just slept or surfed in the internet. However, after I helped my mother makes a salad and food for met New Year. It was cool. Nevertheless, came my sister from Almaty and this was one of the greatest moment in 2017. Unfortunately my father could didn`t come, because he must worked. However, when we celebrated holiday we called to him with «WhatsApp», and were on connection.
After New Year I am strolled with my friend. More time I played with my little brother and helped to him with lesson. I was to the celebrated of New Year in the kind garden, and he splendidly told two poems. I went proud with him. Then Santa Claus gave more goodies to my little brother.
In last day of vacation I thought what I do in 2017, and disappointed. I understood a lot time I just wasted. I surfed in the «VK», watched video in «YouTube» , but I could read books, developed my English. So I thing I must change myself, and spent my time useful. When I go to school sure with this, and I thing changing it`s my first goal in this year.
Hello, Marshal Lee.
DeleteYour essay is pretty good. However, I have some advices for you to improve:
1. "My school organise the winter..." will be better
2. "...surfed on the Internet" I guess
3. "...and food to meet the New Year" is correct one
4. "...brother and helped him with lesson" without preposition
Wish you good luck)
1) "I celebrated the New Year in the ..." Third sentence in the third paragraph. I did not understand the word "kind garden", so that, I think that it is "kindergarten" here.
Delete2) "After THE New Year".
3) using "holidays" instead of "vacation" will be better.
4) "I understood that a lot of time I just wasted".
organised :D
Delete♥Marshal Lee, you have interesting essay with pretty good structure and grammatic. However, you have minor mistakes such as:
Delete• "21st of December it was the last day of second term." you should change it to "21st of December was the last day of second term."
•"Then I came home" in my mind it should be like "Then I come home".
•"came my sister from Almaty" change it to "my sister came from Almaty".
•"because he must worked." you should say "because he must to work."
• "More time I played with my little brother and helped to him with lesson." - "A lot of time I played with my little brother and helped to him with lessons."
XOXO, everybody loves me♥
At the end of the 2nd term the winter holidays came. I remember having many activities planned and although I could not complete them all, I am more than satisfied with how much I have already done.
ReplyDeleteThe winter holidays started and I decided to relax from school for the first 3 days. I was not doing anything beneficial for my health, nor was I doing anything exciting or thrilling. I was just relaxing. Taking a nap, playing on my laptop, watching movies or reading interesting stories is what I had done. The First three days passed at a very leisurely pace and I really enjoyed them.
On the fourth day I started planning some activities. I made my everyday schedule for the winter holidays. Physical and mind exercises were included in that everyday schedule, it was really detailed.
Following the schedule, I devoted some days to improving my skills. For example, I tried working with computer: practicing by editing pictures, making short and basic animations or writing simple programs.
Some days were casual. In spite of the fact that I spent this days following my plans, they passed without anything special. I got up at 7 o’clock, did morning exercises, cooked a simple breakfast, practiced German, took a walk in the park, tried to write a story, read a book and did many similar things.
A small part of the winter holidays was left without anything planned. Those were days in which I watched movies, played video games with my big brother, watched him drawing pictures using a graphic tablet or helped my parents.
All in all, those were days I spent interacting with my family.
However, not all days were included in my schedule. Days like New Year, times to go on a mountain trip or celebrations are days which I call “Valuable time”, so I spent them without any plans. “Valuable time” is not to be spent with plans, because it is time to meet something unexpected. Release dates of movies and books, which I am interested in, are also included in “Valuable time” list.
In conclusion, I can say that I always try to enjoy my free time to the fullest and this time is no exception. Mixing rest with exercises brought me much pleasure. Reminiscing about the way in which I spent this winter holidays: “I have not spent them in vain.” – is a perfect expression to describe my feelings.
My winter holidays
ReplyDeleteI like all holidays, no matter if it is summer or winter. I was trying to not think about a school. In recent times I enjoy watching movies in the cinema. At the time showed "Jumanji" and "Business in Kazakh". I decided to go the movies with my friends and family. The remaining time I spent on the preparation of the New Year. I helped my mother preparing for New Year. I cooked pie, pizza and pancakes also I prepared salads. As for me the most important moments from the holiday is to get gifts. What do you think that I got as a gift? From the summer I think about a new perfume. Whence they knew I do not know but I was given a new perfume. After New Year began usually days then I read a half of the book. Soon I have to go to school.
♥Beautiful Moon, your essay is intresting, you have good structure. However you have some minor mistakes such as:
Delete•"I was trying to not think" should be like: "I was trying not to think".
•"about a school" should be like "about school", because if you are talking about school, while you a student, you should not use articles.
XOXO, everybody loves me♥
HELLO Beautiful Moon
DeleteYou did your best, however you have some mistakes:
1)In recent times I enjoy watching movies in the cinema. - * In recent times I enjoyed by watching the movies at the cinema .
2) The remaining time I spent on the preparation of the New Year. - "The remaining time I spent on the preparation FOR the New Year".
3) I helped my mother preparing for New Year. - " I helped my mother with preparing for the New Year".
4)As for me the most important moments from the holiday is to get gifts. - may be " the most paramount MOMENT " because you have used *is *.
5)
After New Year began usually days then I read a half of the book. Soon I have to go to school. - After The New Year days started begin as usual.
Good luck!
My winter holidays!
ReplyDeleteMy winter holidays started...I was so glad to become aware of this event. I had many different plans for these holidays. On my first days I anticipated the arrival of my lovely sister and mother. So when they came back home I was really happy to see them. Moreover, I spent my free time with my friends by going and training at the sports field. Street workout is an idea to train with only your body weight in the special sports field, without sports equipment and paying money in the gym. My friends and I love this so much, because it is really funny and at the same time has big benefits.
Happy New Year!!! I eagerly awaited that event. My family and I made a lot of delicious salads. We also went to the bazaar to buy tasty fruits, cake, spices. We met New Year in domestic surroundings with happy mood.
Furthermore, I had my birthday. It is a special day of each human in the world. I was so happy on that day, but at the same time, I had a little bit sadness. I became fifteen years old teenager. This age requires me being responsible and serious. Unfortunately, my childhood passed, and now I must think about future.
Moreover, I went with my friends to the cinema to watch the film called "The greatest showman". In main characters were Hugh Jackman, Zak Efron and others famous actors.I actually enjoyed watching this interesting film with my friends.
Simultaneously I did a lot of activities in my leisure time. I started reading books for time management and self-development. Moreover, I had a challenge of watching all Harry Potter's movies:) It was funny and gripping. While I watched these films, I did not think about anything, I just relaxed.
In conclusion, I would like to say that these winter holidays were very exciting, unforgettable and productive. At this time, I had a lot of important events that I will remember. I became aware that time is running out and I should have good moments and enjoy right now!)
I spent the winter holidays very well! My friend and i were preparing for the new year with great pleasure and they thought. Me changed into Santa and Snow Maiden,bought a lot of presents for our relatives and congratulated them. New Year is my favorite holiday. I believe that this yaer will bring me all the best.
ReplyDeleteHey, Sweet pear. In my mind, your essay did not finished. However, you have some mistakes such as:
Delete•"Me changed into Santa and Snow Maiden" should be like "I changed into Santa(or Snow Maiden, because, you can not be Santa and Snow Maiden at the same time). Maybe you mean that you and your friend changed, so you should write "We changed into Santa and Snow Maiden"
•"New Year is my favorite holiday." in my mind it should be like "The New Year is one of my favorite holidays"
•"I believe that this yaer will bring me all the best." it should be "I believe that this year will bring me all the best."
•"My friend and i were preparing for the new year with great pleasure and they thought." I think, you should write some words with capital letters "My friend and I were preparing for the New Year with great pleasure and they thought." Moreover, I did not understood, what means "they thought".
•In your essay used only simple words, you able to write high level words, like instand of "spent" - "consumed", "belive" - "trust" or "have faith in" and e.t.c.
Sweet pear, you should finish your essay. Furthermore, work on your mistakes.
XOXO♥