When I was on holidays, I thought that holidays it is a better time to relax, spent time with my family, and spent time with pleasure. It was better to start reading or start to do exciting activities to develop myself. I have planned to something creative on winter holidays. First week of our winter holidays I spent time with my family,friends, and took relax. Also it was a good week, I tried to clear my brain of unnecessary information, and start to read the books, and walked. Futhermore, I watched three movies before New Year. It was: "Home alone", "Home alone 2", and "Back to the future". After this films a good mood came to me. On the last days of first week I start to prepared for New Year. In my opinion New Year it is the best event, which bring few magic to all people. I spent meeting New Year with my family and friens. It was the better time for me. After that event I continue to relaxed, walked, and spent my time very well. Moreover, it was trip to ravine on second January, we walked in ravine for 8 hours, passed 14 kilometres, and I did not felt tired after that trip, I felt pleasure. It was good holidays for me, I spent my time productive, and I like it!
My dear friend, your essay is very good. However, there are have minor mistakes, but it is worth paying attention to them in future, you know why) There are: -I start to prepared---correct version---I started to prepare; -I continue to relaxed, walked---correct version---I continued to relax, walk; -After "in my opinion" should be comma, do not forget about that; May be if you will pay attention, in future you will write better. Thank you for your working hard
It is very interesring essay) -"I have planned to DO something creative" -"I start to preparING for New Year" -"New Year IS the best..." (without "it") -"which bring THE magic" -"I MET New Year..."(past tense) -"I continue to relax..." (without "-ed") -"It was A trip..."(article) Good job!)
My winter holidays Our winter holidays are the long holydays, so we had 18 days to relax and I started my holidays with relaxing. We had nine days before the New 2018 Year. My sister is studying in Astana and I decided to prepare a gift for her. I knew that she wanted and I went to the shop Centre to buy a star sky projector and a lot of chocolate. We put in our home a big and beautiful Christmas tree, cooked a lot of food and decorated the house. After I gave my sister a gift she gave me a book and cute pink T-shirt. I liked this gift very match. We met the New Year very well. There were a lot of fireworks, happiness and our favorite food. After we met the New Year I decided to watch movies, shows to cheer up and do my hobbies like drawing and reading. I liked my winter holidays and I think I had a good rest.
Dear Hannah, I found your essay appeling,so I like it.However,I have some suggestions for you. Firstly,I would like to know more about your winter holidays.I'll be so happy,if you write more details in improved essay.Secondly,you don't need to write a title(I'm not sure).Miss Nagima wrote the title on the top of the task,so you can not trouble yourself.Thirdly,I found three mistakes.In my opinion,it is not so vital.However,1.*I liked this gift very MUCH* is better,than MATCH.2.Are you sure that you put CHRISTMAS tree?Inspite of the fact, that we are living in Kazakhstan,it will be better to say fir-tree.Both of them is correct.3.Can you put a comas?I know,that it's not mistake,but sometimes readers like me cannot understand you. I'm really waiting for your improved essay.Please,never stop writing.It can also be your hobby,because you are fantastic writer!With love,Honeybubble:)
Dear friend, I lke your essay, bit, in my opinion, if you write more than this, it will be better, believe me) Then some mistakes: -We putted in our home {Past Simple}; -[if I understand correctly, may be it should be like that] I knew that she want; That's all, thank you for your attention
It seems to me that it will be better if you divide the text into paragraphs. Moreover, I did not like the first sentence, because you wrote the word "relax" two times. So perhaps you will use "take a rest" or "repose". However, never give up. Just try to do your best. Good luck!
My winter holidays! My winter holidays started...I was so glad to become aware of this event.I had different plans for these holidays.On my first days I expect an arrival of my lovely sister and mother. So when they came back home I was really happy to see them. Moreover I spent my free time with my friends by going to the sports field and training.Street workout is an idea to train with own weight in the special sports field, without sports equipment and paying money in the gym. I with my friends love this so much, because it is really funny and at the same time has big benefits. Happy New Year!!!I with impatience expect that event. I with my family made a lot of delicious salads. We also went to the bazar to buy tasty fruits, cake, spices. We met New Year in domestic surroundings with happy mood. Furthermore, I had my birthday. It is special day of each human in the world. I was so happy in that day, but at the same time I had a little bit sadness. I became fifteen years old teenager. This age require me being responsible and serious. Unfortunately my childhood passed, and now I must think about future. Moreover I went with my friends to the cinema on the film called "The greatest showman". In main characters were Hugh Jackman, Zak Efron and others famous actors.I actually enjoyed watching this interesting film with my friends. At the same time I did a lot of activities in my leisure time. I started reading books for timemanagement and self-development. Moreover, I had a challenge of watching all Harry Potter's movies:) It was funny and gripping. While I watched these films, I did not think about anything, I just relaxed. In conclusion, I would like to say that these winter holidays were very exciting, unforgettable and productive. At this time I had a lot of important events that I will remember. I became aware of that time is running out and I should have good moments and enjoy right now!)
WOW! I liked your essay very much. Good job! However, I noticed a little error. Please do not forget about a comma after linking words.You did put a comma after MOREOVER.
(1) "I had different plans for these holidays" - meaning here is not right. We say "I had different plans" when you planned something for a period of time, but suddenly something happens and we decide to change our planns. For example: "I am planning to do gymnastics at morning everyday this holidays. However, I have different plans tomorrow morning" (2) "Moreover I spent my free time with my friends by going to the sports field and training." - There an expression "by going to the sports field and training" sounds incomplete. I suggest add "there" to the word "training", so that it will be more correct. "by going to the sports field and training there". (3) "I became aware of that time is running out and I should have good moments and enjoy right now!" - An expressions "aware of" and "that time is running out" should not be used together. It would sound right if you will not use "of" here. An expression "aware of" can mean the same with "aware that" sometimes. "I became aware that time is running out and I should have good moments and enjoy right now!" All in all, your essay is very enjoyable. I believe that if you write more and always try to improve you could have many achievements in literature field, and become excellent in english and writing.
The Hero of Our World, I really liked your essay. Your grammatic is pretty good ☼. In whole essay I saw only one minor mistake. • You wrote your essay in past tense, while at starting you wrote "Become" instead "became". It is really little thing, but you should be more carefull. XO XO ♥
I enjoyed reading your story and have a few tips :)
1. “I had different plans” could be “I had many different plans” 2. “I expect an arrival of” could be “I anticipated the arrival of” 3. “train with own weight” could be “train with only your body weight” 4. “I with my friends” should be “My friends and I” 5. “I with my family” should be “My family and I” 6. “bazar” is spelt “bazaar” 7. “in that day” should be “on that day” 8. “on the film” should be “to watch the film”
You have used lots of good adjectives to describe your holidays. You did a good job describing your emotions throughout your essay. I also think that you have lots of fun hobbies and make good decisions of how to spend your time.
Every year schoolchildren have their winter holidays. They usually last for 2 weeks: from the New Year’s Day till the 9th of January. I am sure that all of us look forward to this time because it’s a great chance not to get up early and to do what we want. As for me I always sleep till 9 a.m. during my winter holidays. Then I turn on my TV and lie in my bed for another hour. Winter holidays are even more exciting because we celebrate New Year. Our mood is joyful. The whole atmosphere is full of magic. People exchange presents, decorate their homes, cook delicious food, visit each other and have parties. If the weather is cold I prefer to stay at home or visit my friends. They can also come to my place. We play computer games, surf the Internet or watch films. In warm weather we go to the cinema or a café. This holidays was astonoshing,beacuse i met New Year with my parents and spend timw with my friends.I hope that everbody liked their holidays.Happy New Year !
Happy New Year,you too! Good job, however in my opinion it will be better, if instead of "school children" you use the word "students" . Everything is understandable and your job looks pretty. I like your word "astonishing" as it academic word.
Happy New Year! I like your essay , however I found some mistakes. For example , i think " Then I turn on my TV and lie in my bed for another hour." is not correct , may be "Then I turned on my TV and lay in my bed for another hour."
Well done Tony, I enjoyed reading your story. I also like to sleep in and watch TV in the mornings during the holidays. Your story is easy to read and well structured. There are very few mistakes, We don't say 'The' New Years Day - it is just' New Years Day', In your last paragraph you say 'This holidays" it should be 'this holiday" also astonoshing is spelt incorrectly - it should be astonishing. I hope this helps Well done again - Alexander
My winter holidays I spend my winter holidays as majority of people. What about you? I were playing computer games, watch serials, clean home and other staff. I didn`t do something special and just relax. My family was home only half of all my holidays, so we were home and prepare to New Year. New Year was funny as well as encouraging. However, we didn`t buy firework, so it was little bit sad thing for me because it is my favorite thing and very special for me resulting to I hope next year we will by it. We prepared for two days before, and starting from 18 o`clock neighbors and relatives come and we go their home too. At twelve o`clock we watch Nursultan Nazarbaev`s speech and drink beverages. As you see my holidays was full of positive, relax and other different filings. I was playing with my best friend, watch serials and other good as well as my favorite staff. These holidays were simple as usual days, but it gave me energy and power to learn new information in the lessons.
Unusual and interesting essay about winter holiday. But you have some grammatical mistakes: ^by-*buy ^filings-*fillings as well as some mistakes with past simple.
Dear Smart Wood, i wish you happy new year. I like your essay but i not like this sentence "At twelve o`clock we watch Nursultan Nazarbaev`s speech and drink beverages." because correctly write Nazarbayev.
Hello, Smart Wood! In 5 sentence there is little mistake, not just "family was home", "family was AT home". Moreover, there is mistake in word "feelings". Also, check again the word "staff", I can not understand using of this word in this case
Dear Smart Wood,i liked your essay very much.It was interesting for me to read your essay.I found some mistackes,for example word feelings you wrote filings.In MY opinion,you concentrate on New Year celebration,not on your hholidays in general,but does not make your essay worse)
Thank you for your essay. Great job! Here are my general observations for your essay: Commendations: 1. Your easy is ready to go. You already have all the ideas that are needed to write a good essay. 2. You write direct to the point. This is good because you can express your ideas directly. 3. By reading your essay, I can say that you also have an interesting holiday because you have enough time for yourself, for your family and for your friends. Areas that you need to work: 1. You should work and add connecting words so that the transition of one statement will be very smooth. Connecting words such as moreover, in addition of, as well as, together with, of course, likewise, etc. are words that will make let your transition statements connect from one to another Suggestion: It will be good that before writing your essay, it will be good to make an outline on what to write in the start, middle and end of the essay so that ideas will be flowing freely and also the transition of the statement are really connected to one another. To make the essay very interesting, you should have a powerful beginning and ending. 2. Some words need to be added in your statements to convey the ideas very clearly: • I spend my winter holidays as majority of people. (There is a missing word in this statement to make it complete). This can be enhanced by saying: I spent my winter holidays the same as how the majority of people celebrated their winter holidays. • My family was home only half of my holidays, so we were home and prepared for New Year. • New Year was funny as well as encouraging. However, we didn`t buy firework, so it was little bit sad thing for me because it is my favorite thing and very special for me resulting to I hope next year we will by it. (You need to separate these statements because it is too long already and you have separate ideas) • We prepared for two days before, and starting from 18 o`clock neighbors and relatives come and we go their home too (You need to separate these statements because you have separate ideas. Suggestion: It will be good to say that you start the preparation for New year two days before the celebration. Then you can add by saying, On New Year’s Day starting…..) 3. You need to be aware of the grammar so that you can make a very good statement. Also,you need to have consistency of your tenses. Please look at the tenses of all the parts of the essay. Consider looking this as example, • I was playing computer games, watching serials, cleaning home and other staff. 4. You need to double check some of the spelling so that the statements will not be misunderstood • I think staff is for group of people. Did you mean stuff? • Filings…Did you mean feelings? 5. The focus was on your New Years Celebration. It will be good to add some interesting activities that you did before New Year. This is a promising essay! Continue writing and consider all the suggestions and no doubt that you will be a writer in the future. Keep up the Good Job!
For every student-winter holidays are one of the most enjoyable part of each academic year. On my winter holidays I was at home with my family. Sleeping as long as I want, reading books which I planned to read, watching interesting films, eating tasty meals by myself, spending time with my best friend and other activities as this this – made my holidays colorful. When my mind feel fresh and body feel freedom there became inspiration to make something new. I thought about my priorities and made some conclusions about my bad habits and good qualities. I hope, this year will change more than I can image. Moreover, I am very happy that this holidays gave me chance to think about things, which I thought important. I have desire to make myself better and I will do it. At school time, I see my family in the evening after school. So think, after this holidays, we get closer What about New Year? As every year, we sit together with my family, eating New Year dinner and just enjoy the moment. I think this is good chance to start some things again. Fresh mind, new ideas and support of my family will help me to achieve my goals. I like this holidays and believe, that this is just beginning.
I like your essay structure, but you have mistakes such as "my mind feel(s) fresh and body feel(s) freedom" and "this holidays gave me (a) chance". Do not worry, because it is ok to make some errors.
I like your essay very much, because of correct structure, linking words. Moreover, we have the same goals, and it is very exciting!) It will be good, if you change some moments: 1) "When my mind feel fresh and body feel freedom there became inspiration to make something new." - I am of the view that with "s"."When my mind feelS fresh and body feelS freedom there became inspiration to make something new." It is very beautiful sentence. 2) "best friend and other activities as this this – made my holidays colorful. " Maybe just one "this". 3) "So think, after this holidays, we get closer" it would be better, if you write "I"..(formula).
How I spent my winter holiday ? Winter holidays is one of the best time to relax, because people celebrate New Year and Christmas. People decorate their home , cook delicious and buy presents. My winter holidays started on 21st December, after summative assessment. I spent my winter holidays at home with my family. Honestly, my holidays doesn’t be very interesting , because I spent it without my grandmother and grandfather , they went to Russia. However , I had some interesting moments. For example, I went to the cinema with my friend and after the cinema we ate burgers in café. I spent my New Year at home with my friends and family. It was one of the best moments in the last year. On holidays , I found out a lot of things by reading books and watching the serials. I read a lot of books like “He and She – Mark Levy” and I was watching GAME OF THRONES. This serial is one of the best serial in the world. In my opinion , my winter holidays was not bad , full of funny moments , because I spent it with my family.
Thank you for your essay, it was interesting, because of there Game Of Thrones)) Okay, I am just joking, it is really captivating, but, there are some mistakes: -My holidays did not was very interesting{Past Simple}
-*-Winter holidays is one of the best time= winter holidays ARE one of the best timeS -*- cook delicious = here you need to write the subject for example, "cook delicious FOOD" -*- my holidays doesn’t be very interesting - my holidays WERE NOT very interesting -*- my winter holidays was not bad - my winter holidays WERE not bad Heey, dear friend thanks to your essay it is good and it is written in very honest way))
I spent my winter holidays travelling around. I had a little shock for the first time, when I knew, that my winter holidays longs 20 days. I was worried about third term, moreover about all knowledge I will lose for 20 days. My mom called me in the day before holidays. She said that I must go to Almaty immediately. Here, started my first trip. The way was difficult. However, after nine hours I was in Almaty. I met my relatives and my parents. It is strange feeling: everybody kisses you, says that you become an adult girl; moreover they always ask questions like “Do you remember me?” or “Do you know my name?”. The problem is that you never ever see this person. My mission (to celebrate New Year in Almaty) completed, so I went to Taraz. In that nine hours I started to hate everything connected buses or sprinters. Despite the fact that I feel ill, I read the book called “Fighting club”. To be continued…
I like your essay, but it is some mistakes here. For example, you need to use word "lasted" instead of "longs". Moreover, if you start to use past simple, you need to continue in past simple. From seven sentence un paragraph 2, you start to write using present simple, and I am not understand, why? I am think that it is a bad idea to end your essay with the words like "to be continued", cause it is more suitable to movies or cartoons, which has more parts than 1. Also your essay has a good structure and interesting moments.
Dear, Amy! How are you? How your winter holiday is going? I would like to write about my winter holiday. It was very exciting. Mostly, I was at home with my family. Before the Christmas day I and my little sisters and brother go to the cinema. We chose to watch a cartoon called “Ferdinand”. I very like it, because it is about bulls that can teach us about a real love for your friends. I knew that equitable always win. At all, I think it is about spiritual beauty. So, at 8o’clock we sit with my family to meet a New Year. Everybody at home was happy and started to share with their positivity. Moreover, wish good things for coming New Year. Later we decided to take a family photo with Christmas tree. It was a really miracle night! I like this New Year atmosphere! Next day my grandmother visit us like Santa Claus. She was with a lot of presents for her grandchildren! In conclusion, I want to say that my winter holidays have passed fascinating!
Dear, BlackPink I like your essay , your essay is very interesting . I think "Next day my grandmother visit us like Santa Claus."is not correct , may be "Net day my grandmother visited us like Santa Claus" Thank you , for your essay !
Great job)) Your essay is very interesting and unusual. You used linking words, beautiful words.Moreover, your essay's structure is very good. It would be better, if you change some moments: 1)"Before the Christmas day I and my little sisters and brother go to the cinema." it would correctly to say "went", because of past tense. 2)"I knew that equitable always win. " Equitable is an adjective, so that you can change it to "justice". Moreover, add "s" to word "win". "I knew that justice always wins." 3) "So, at 8o’clock we sit with my family to meet a New Year." replace sit to "sat".(past tense). I like you essay very much!)
Writing this task as letter is good idea.You give a lot of details, which gives a chance to imagine all this picture. Your is exciting as your holidays.
My winter holiday. My winter holiday started on 22nd of December and ends yesterday. Moreover, this holidays was very special for me, I was find new friends, already helped my brother and mum with homework’s. When my friends returned to their hometown, I was deciding write letters for them and it was very interesting. We exchanged thoughts, share and just chat. In the same time we were preparing to the New Year. Yes, I know that it was difficult but we did not give up. Furthermore, I practiced my hobby reading books. I bought a few books, like Harry Potter and the cursed child, I am legend and etc. but I read only one of them. When I was reading books I did not notice that New Year is near as well as my family celebrated the New Year 2018! In my opinion, this New 2018 year was very unusual and fascinating.
Dear Hames, your essay is very interestimg. Moreover you have a structure of the summury, and used linking words, However you have some mistakes: 1)" I was find new friends..." in this sentence I think that correctly to write "I found new friends". 2)"with homework's" without article. 3)"I was deciding write letters..." Maybe with to. "I was deciding to write letters". 4)"We exchanged thoughts, share and just chat." It is past, so that "shared". 5)" Furthermore, I practiced my hobby reading books." I am of the view that the sentence must be with "-"." Furthermore, I practiced my hobby - reading books." 6)"New 2018 year was very unusual and fascinating." When I read this sentence like 2018 year passed. I think that you must write " celebration" ."The celebration of New 2018 year was very unusual and fascinating." In main your essay is wery good, and I liked it very much!)
-*-and ends yesterday. - and HAVE FINISHED yesterday. -*-this holidays was - this holidays WERE -*-I practiced my hobby reading books - I practiced my hobby OF \ LIKE reading books -*- a few books - the few books
My winter holiday I cannot say that my winter holiday was amazing, wonderful and perfect, nevertheless, it let me feel happy, fun and I was relax. So what I did?! Majority of my holiday, I was in Almaty, with my family, we went to my father. Until the New Year, I came to school, prepared for olimpyada by chemistry, red the book, and all of that. I tried to work on my mistakes in English grammar, so I also red English book, too. Unfortunately, when the New Year came, I prepared for that, so I forgot about that. I cleaned my home, it was general cleaning, OMG, after that I was so tired. Also I help my mother with setting the table to celebration. Well, I, with my family, met the New Tear together and great. Okay! After all of that, like any typical teenager, I was surfer in social network, watch serials and cartoons, because, this kind of pastime let me feel myself relax. During the holiday I found new friend, and every day we talked until the midnight, sometimes until the 5 o’clock. It was crazy and amazing. All of this happened in Almaty, because of, at third day of the holiday we went to there. So it was my winter holiday, regardless, I love it.
You wrote fascinating essay, and I glad for your time spend. However I find some mistakes. Do not worry they aren`t so bad, but I want that you won`t do it again. For example, you miswrite New Year as New Tear, and nevertheless must be in beginning of sentence. Good luck!
Good job! In my opinion, you spend winter holiday great and well write about it. A mistakes; ^red-*three forms of read written identically. Moreover some grammatical mistakes, like ^New Tear-*New Year.
I think there is not a structure like {was+ infinitive} in English grammar . You wrote "I was relax". Moreover, it seems to me that "winter holidayS" is correct. Try do not repeat these mistakes. I believe you will do your best.
At the end of 2nd term winter holidays came. I remember having many activities planned. Although, I have not completed them all, I have done many.
Winter holidays started and I decided to relax from school for first 3 days. I was not doing anything beneficial for my health nor was I doing anything exciting or thrilling. I was just relaxing. Taking a nap, playing on laptop, watching movies or reading interesting stories is what I have done. First three days passed in a very leisure pace and I really enjoyed them.
One the fourth day I started planning some activities. I was making my everyday schedule for winter holidays. Physical and mind exercises were included in that everyday schedule, it is really detailed.
Following the schedule some days are devoted to skill improving. For example, I tried working with programs. Practice by editing pictures, making small and simple animations or writing simple programs. Some days are casual. For example, get up at 7 o’clock, do morning exercises, cook simple breakfast, practice German language, get a walk in the park, try to write a story, read a book and so on. Small part of winter holidays left with nothing planned. Those are days to do anything without plan. For example, watch a movie, play a game with my big brother, watch him drawing pictures using graphic tablet. All in all those are days I usually spend interacting with my family.
However, not all days are included in my schedule. Days like New Year, times to go on a mountain trip or celebrations are days which I call “Valuable time” and I spend them without any plans. “Valuable time” is not to be spent with plans, because it is time to meet something unexpected. Movies or books release dates which I awaited are also included in “Valuable time” list.
That is how I spent my winter holidays, and it is detailed information about what I usually do on holidays and free time. I always try to enjoy free time and so this time I also got much pleasure by mixing relax time and exercise time.
Dear,BrokenSapphire!) I very liked that you wrote more words than 150.Moreover, using the words like "beneficial, nap, leisure pace, are devoted, interacting, release" indicates your rich vocabulary.However, it would be very good if you change these moments like: -*- At the end of 2nd term -At the end of THE 2nd term -*- I remember having many activities planned. - I remembered that I have many already planned activities. -*- Practice by editing pictures- Practicing the redaction of the pictures -*- dear you need to decide on are you writing in Past or in Present, because the first 3 paragraphes in Past and then in Present. thanks, to your work) good job!
"awesome_flower" - Thank you for reading my essay! I hope you was not reading it while thinking that it is very troublesome to appraise my essay. I think there is much space for my progress. I will strive to have less mistakes and will try to write more interesting works, so that it will not be troublesome to assess them. Come later to look at my new essay, and when the time comes I think you will not be dissapointed.
Corrections: Paragraph 1: At the end of "the" 2nd term winter holidays came.
Paragraph 2: "The" Winter holidays started and I decided to relax from school for "the" first 3 days.
Taking a nap, playing on "my or the" laptop, watching movies or reading interesting stories is what I have "had" done.
"The" First three days passed in a very leisure "leisurely" pace"," and I really enjoyed them.
Paragraph 3: One "On" the fourth day I started planning some activities.
Physical and mind exercises were included in that everyday schedule, it is "was" really detailed.
Paragraph 4: Following the schedule"," some days are "were" devoted to skill improving "improving my skills".
For example, I tried working with programs"," practice by editing pictures, making small and simple animations or writing simple programs.
Some days are "were" casual.
"A" small part of "the" winter holidays "were" left with nothing planned.
Those are "were" days to do anything without "a" plan.
For example, watch a movie, play a game with my big brother, watch him drawing pictures using "a" graphic tablet.
All in all"," those are "were" days I usually spend "spent" interacting with my family.
Comments: You are doing very well expressing your ideas, you just need to pay more attention to using articles (a, an, the) properly and getting the correct tense. These are very minor mistakes and don't interfere with communicating your message. Be aware that you need to work on those areas and actively try to correct them.
Today is the second day of our new 3rd term. Now, I would like to share with you some information about my winter holidays. Ok, let`s start! In fact, our holiday lasted 15 days, but if estimate with weekends, then it will be about 20 days of holiday. I spent my winter holidays in Taraz, at home actually. The first activity that I did is going to additional lessons from subjects such as English and World History. This lasted for the 5-6 days. Secondly, I was ‘’perfect daughter’’ to my mum. In that case, I prepared food (breakfast, lunch and dinner), cleaned my home and take care of my brother and sister. Moreover, I watched soap operas and survived in the internet in my free time. Furthermore, in holidays I could read 2 books from the world literature. At the end of the holidays, I felt very satisfied about my work and results. In addition, I consider that this activities indicates my self- development. To sum up, in my winter holidays I did not just waste my time, and as a result I came to school with the wonderful mood!
Ooohh,awesomr flower, regardless that it was little essay, you wrote very carefully and nearly without mistakes. However, in my opinion, it should be "took care of my brother and sister", due to you wrtie this in Past Simple. Good luck in future)
wowww, I really liked your essay. It give me some motivation, because I just wasted my time on holidays. Moreover, your grammar is wonderful. Good luck!
(1) "In fact, our holiday lasted 15 days" - I believe the correct version is "In fact, our holiday lasted for 15 days" (2) "then it will be about 20 days of holiday." - it should be - "then it will be about 20 days of holidays." It is a minor issue, so I wish you to be more careful next time. (3) "going to additional lessons from subjects" - I think, that the right form is "going to additional lessons in subjects" (4) "In that case, I prepared food (breakfast, lunch and dinner), cleaned my home and take care of my brother and sister." - "In that case" sounds inappropriate here, I estimate that something like "For that" or "So" will be better here. Also, "take care" should be "took care". Pay more attention to details. (5) "survived in the internet" - sounds strange. You must have unintentionally mistook word "survive" for "surf". (6) "this activities indicates" - It is well known that after (he, she, it) we usually add (s) as an ending of Verbs, but there the word "activity" is written in plural form, so you should not add ending (s) to the Verb "indicate" - "this activities indicate"
Checking your work, I came to a conclusion that you must pay more attention to details. It is a pity when your work gets spoiled by minor things like mistaked words or inappropriate endings. Your work is short, but contains much information. Honestly, I think your work is good and you can create masterpiece if you continue to work with your stories.
Instead of ‘in fact’, you could use ‘as it happens…’ Instead of ‘if estimate with weekends’, you should say ‘if we include the weekends’. Remember that you are referring to the holidays that are in the past so you should say ‘it was about 20 days of holiday (in total)’ or better: ‘we had about 20 days’ holiday in total. Make sure that you focus on correct use of the past tense, for example: took care of my brother and sister. You can’t say ‘survived my time in the internet’ - I think you mean ‘surfed the web’. Instead of ‘In addition, I consider that this activities indicates my self- development’ you could say: ‘I think that the activities I did over the holidays indicate my passion for learning and self-improvement’.
I really enjoyed reading your work, well done! You also helped your mum, which is also important! :)
My winter holidays Winter holidays are my favorite, because they are long. However, these two weeks passed quickly. I looked after my niece most of the time. It is been only three months since she was born, but I attached to her. Thanks to my niece I understood the importance of the family one more time. A New Year is a long-awaited event. I celebrate the New Year with my family every year. Moreover, I want to do it with my friends too. Perhaps it will be fascinating. By the way I did not have The New Year`s mood this time. Maybe it was because of the lack of the snow. I had a lot of free time on the holidays. Furthermore, my sleep regimen violated. I woke up at 12.00 PM and went to bed at 2.00 AM. I interested in Korean pop groups by the end of 2017 year. I watched shows such as “Producer 101” and “Bon Voyage”. “Producer 101” is a reality show about trainees who want to debut. It gave me the motivation. “Bon Voyage” is about travelling of the BTS kpop group. After watching this show I wrote a list of the countries which I want to visit. Moreover, I planned my own English lessons at home. I spent all my holidays with my family at home and I do not worry about it. I had enough time to create new goals. Moreover, I noticed that writing your plans is a good idea. It helps you to concentrate and do not forget significant things. I will try to do my best after this rest. I hope the next holidays will be more productive.
I really liked your essay. However I saw some mistakes like: •You shouldn't putting a comma before "because". •You wrote first part of your essay in past tense, but second part was in prestent tense. I think your work is improved.However you should study, so you will write more better. Good luck ♥
-*- A New Year - THE New Year -*- It is very cute the sentences about your sister))) I liked it very much -*- Perhaps it will be fascinating. - Perhaps it would be fascinating. (to show that you wanted that, but it didn`t happen.) -*- helps you to concentrate - helps you to concentrate ON SMTH (for e[ample, "on studies") -*- You essay is informative and gives some ideas , thanks to your essay I could relax by reading it)
My winter holidays lasted for 18 days. I thought that it is really long. However it quickly passed. I did not do something incredible. Firstly I and my dad went to village for 2 days. By the way, I read interesting book, which is called “Liar’s Club” from the “True Story” publishing house. After coming back to my home, I went to opening of women’s clothing store “Bakonya”. I celebrated my New Year in the family. We made preparations like festive table, decorate the Christmas tree and clean up at home. Furthermore, my family went to my uncle’s house, there we blew up salutes and it was fascinating. After New Year I started to watch Korean dramas, like “While you slept” and read book, which is called “Gone with the wind” written by Margaret Mitchell. 1 Also I met my friends, and we spent time together. At Saturday, 6 January guests come to my home. We celebrated birth of my niece to world. I really liked my winter holidays. However I spent time with my parents and relatives.
Dear, your essay is interesting and well formulated. However, you forgot change some verbs to Past tense. For example, read, decorate, clean up, come. Please, will be more closely!
-*- it quickly passed - it passed quickly -*- I and my dad - ME and my dad -*- read interesting book - read THE interesting book -*- At Saturday, - ON Saturday,
My winter holidays started at December 22and lasted for whole 18 days. Because it is a long period, I decided to spend it useful for myself as soon as I wanted to relax.
The first part of holidays I red fascinating book, which was called “Gone with the wind” written by Margaret Mitchell. It was about a difficult fate og young woman Scarlett, her troublesome choice during the howl and unrequited love. Although, after reading I understood that it was one of the most wonderful books whatever I read.
I celebrated the New Year in the family. I cooked traditional dished, salads and prepared a festive table with my mom and little sister. Moreover, at 12.00 pm we and our neighbors went to outside and blew up salutes. Hundreds of colorful salutes highlighted the dark night sky.
In the second part of holidays I just wanted to relax, so that I choose some movies and serials and saw it. My list included movies, such as “Paris at any cost”, “Personal customer”, “Devil wears Prada” and serial “Stranger things”.
On winter holidays I did not do some grandiose things. However, I satisfied. I even went to former school for meeting my old classmates, that I did not saw about year.
Good_reader, when I firstly red your essay, I thought that it is perfect. However you have minor mistakes. Like: •You wrote essay at past tense, but forgot to change choose to second form. Choose-Chose-Chosen. •You wrote "Devil wears Prada" and forgot article. You should have wrote "The Devil wears Prada". I understand that it is a little thing. However you should remember that "The devil's always in the details". XO XO ♥
Hello, I think that your essay has a good structure, but it is some mistakes here. For example it is "read" instead of "red" in the first paragraph, cause three forms of "read" write identically, and instead of "choose", you need to write "chose"-second form of verb choose. It is okey to make mistakes and I think that your essay is very well, despite of this small mistakes.
-*- Because it is - please, try do not start your sentences with "but, and , because" -*- I red fascinating book, - I red THE fascinating book, -*- in the family - with my family hears better -*- serials and saw it.- serials and WATCHED it. -*- I did not saw -t I did not see
Twenty first December it`s a last day of second turn. I enjoy in this day. My school made winter ball, and more of my classmates go to this party. I danced with some of my friends, and become acquainted with a lot of interesting people. Then I go home, and my holiday start.
First time I didn`t do anything, I just sleep or surfed in the internet. However, after I wish my mom cooking salad and food for meeting New Year. It`s be cool. Nevertheless coming my sister from Almaty, and this be one of the greatest moment in 2017. Unfortunately, my father can`t coming, because he must work. However, when we celebrate holiday we call to him with «WhatsApp», and be on connection.
After New Year I am strolling with my friend. More time I playing with my little brother and help to him with lesson. I go to the celebration of New Year in the kind garden, and he splendidly tell two poems. I went proud with him. Then Santa Claus give more goodies to my little brother.
In last day of vacation I think what I do in 2017, and disappointed. I understand a lot time I just waste. I surf in the «VK», watch video in «YouTube» , but I could read books, develop English. So I thing I must changing myself, and spend my time useful. When I go to school sure with this, and I thing changing it`s my first goal in this year.
Hello, my dear friend! I find some grammar mistakes here. I think that it is not a "turn", you need to write "term" if you want to say about ending of school time. Second mistake it is that you need to write verbs in 2nd form or with /ed/ if you start to write in past simple, "went" instead of "go", "it was cool" instead of "it's be cool". Plase put attention to this moments. It is not bad to make mistakes. Good luck!
THE twenty first OF December. You must use 'the' and 'of' when you write the date. 'Is the last day of the second term' is much better😉 As Young Jake said, you should be careful with the PAST tense.(ex:enjoy-enjoyed, become-became,went, slept, started, couldn't,celebrated,called,wasted, watched...etc) Because you are telling the story that was in the past. Winter ball- you should probably use 'New Year Party' Surfed the Internet -without preposition The sentence 'However,after I wish my mom cooking salad and food for meeting new year' is incorrect . Pay attention to the meaning of your sentence . You celebrate the new year,not meet. Reread the rules of 'THIS/THAT' You can not say My father can't coming,- My father can't come(no -ing after model verbs) When we were celebrating is more correct in this case, because it's a long action. May be you wanted to write kindergarden instead of kind garden.? to BE proud: so, I was proud of him Remember! THE first , THE last. Don't forget) 'Must' is also modal verb, you cannot say I must changing. I thinK-one thinG(revise these words) 'I am sure with one thing when I'll go to school, i will change myself and that's my goal for this year 'is better. I really love your essay, but you should be careful with grammar,articles,modal verbs and prepositions. I advice you to look through your grammar book. If you use translator, translate only one word. If you do like that, you will be able to write correctly. NEVER translate one sentence from the translator. And I hope you are already working on your time management🙂 Good luck!
Hello Marshal Lee :) I enjoyed reading your story. Princess Fiona (above) has given you lots of good advice for your English. There are some grammar errors but I can still understand your meaning, which is good.
I won't repeat what Princess Fiona stated but I would just add that maybe put in a little detail, for example you said your father cannot be home because of his work, so what does he do? you were helping your little brother with his homework, what homework? English, science, math etc..? Adding detail will make your story more interesting :)
My winter vacation passed so quickly. While I helped prepare for the new year, I spent a few days. I made a cake "Vupi Pai", which is so loving and waiting for every holiday. After a new year, I'm with my sisters went to the central square of the city. There ere a lot of people there and I met a few of my friends. My friends and I walked together for about two hours. it was very fun. In the winter holidays for me it was productive, because I finished a book that I could not finish because of my studies. Together with the family watched several movies, one of them that I liked so much "Hidden figures." Winter vacations seem so long in really passed so quickly, but I love this vacation.
Hello Smart Writer, I have read your essay and understood most of what you communicated. Note that you wrote 134/150 words and so missed the opportunity to further describe your vacation. Next time use all the words and more to enrich your essay.
Some sentences that you wrote contain at least one word or phrase that needs correction.'I spent a few days' is hanging and requires completion. Is 'so loving' the meaning of 'Vupi Pai' or are you describing it? 'After a new year' should use a definite article since it is unique for this year.'I'm with my sisters' should start 'My sisters and I...'. 'There ere' is 'There are...'. 'it was very fun' should be 'It was fun'. 'In the winter holidays for me it was productive' should start 'The winter holidays were...'. 'I could not finish' should be followed by the word 'earlier'. 'Together with the family watched several movies' should begin 'We watched......as a family.'. The sentence needs to broken to start 'One of them ...'. 'seem so long in really passed' is not easily understood so rephrase it. 'but I love this vacation.'should contain 'loved'. I look forward to reading your improved draft.
Smart Writer, you wrote very fascinating essay! You had good vacobulary, and you had few as well as not weighty. I wish you to continue to write essays as wonderful as this one.
I suppose, It was a very unusual winter holiday. Because you are using pronoun it and auxiliary verb was, so you cannot use the word holiday in plural. It's better to say "watched tv series". And there was no snow in the place where I spent my winter--> this structure is better. "To make somebody upset" is the correct structure, so you should write "this made me upset". I like your essay, you don't have many mistakes. I could imagine how you spent your holidays. And I like it by the way. Yes, this time new year was a bit strange, because we didn't have snow.. But yaaaaay, it's snowing crazy now. So you can light a firework as much as you want😄)))
My winter holidays in my opinion very productive, and very funny. At first day I do not believe my eyes because I get up at 10 o`clock. At second day we planned to go with classmates on café but only 3 people go with me. Every day be simple I get up at 12 and eat dinner because I get up in afternoon, do homework is English and Kazakh. At 8 or 9 o`clock I play PC with my best friends on video games. I sleep at 5 or 6. In happy new year my parents give me FIFA 18. Happy new year.
You wrote good essay. I really happy that you spended your time as you wanted. However, you wrote very short essay. Tn addition, you need use synonims and other expresions to make your essay better. For example, "I could not believe my eyes" is right. Good luck!
Dear Panda)I liked that you told every interesting moments in so short essay.You wrote the main and certain information.But i found some mistackes.The name of celebration must be New Year,you wrote Happy New Year,morover it writes from capital letter !
When I was on holidays, I thought that holidays it is a better time to relax, spent time with my family, and spent time with pleasure. It was better to start reading or start to do exciting activities to develop myself. I have planned to something creative on winter holidays.
ReplyDeleteFirst week of our winter holidays I spent time with my family,friends, and took relax. Also it was a good week, I tried to clear my brain of unnecessary information, and start to read the books, and walked. Futhermore, I watched three movies before New Year. It was: "Home alone", "Home alone 2", and "Back to the future". After this films a good mood came to me. On the last days of first week I start to prepared for New Year.
In my opinion New Year it is the best event, which bring few magic to all people. I spent meeting New Year with my family and friens. It was the better time for me.
After that event I continue to relaxed, walked, and spent my time very well. Moreover, it was trip to ravine on second January, we walked in ravine for 8 hours, passed 14 kilometres, and I did not felt tired after that trip, I felt pleasure.
It was good holidays for me, I spent my time productive, and I like it!
My dear friend, your essay is very good. However, there are have minor mistakes, but it is worth paying attention to them in future, you know why) There are:
Delete-I start to prepared---correct version---I started to prepare;
-I continue to relaxed, walked---correct version---I continued to relax, walk;
-After "in my opinion" should be comma, do not forget about that;
May be if you will pay attention, in future you will write better. Thank you for your working hard
It is very interesring essay)
Delete-"I have planned to DO something creative"
-"I start to preparING for New Year"
-"New Year IS the best..." (without "it")
-"which bring THE magic"
-"I MET New Year..."(past tense)
-"I continue to relax..." (without "-ed")
-"It was A trip..."(article)
Good job!)
Young Jack, your job is good.
DeleteOther commentators wrote your mistakes, so want you to use more academic words instead of daily phrases.
My winter holidays
ReplyDeleteOur winter holidays are the long holydays, so we had 18 days to relax and I started my holidays with relaxing. We had nine days before the New 2018 Year. My sister is studying in Astana and I decided to prepare a gift for her. I knew that she wanted and I went to the shop Centre to buy a star sky projector and a lot of chocolate. We put in our home a big and beautiful Christmas tree, cooked a lot of food and decorated the house. After I gave my sister a gift she gave me a book and cute pink T-shirt. I liked this gift very match. We met the New Year very well. There were a lot of fireworks, happiness and our favorite food. After we met the New Year I decided to watch movies, shows to cheer up and do my hobbies like drawing and reading. I liked my winter holidays and I think I had a good rest.
Dear Hannah,
DeleteI found your essay appeling,so I like it.However,I have some suggestions for you. Firstly,I would like to know more about your winter holidays.I'll be so happy,if you write more details in improved essay.Secondly,you don't need to write a title(I'm not sure).Miss Nagima wrote the title on the top of the task,so you can not trouble yourself.Thirdly,I found three mistakes.In my opinion,it is not so vital.However,1.*I liked this gift very MUCH* is better,than MATCH.2.Are you sure that you put CHRISTMAS tree?Inspite of the fact, that we are living in Kazakhstan,it will be better to say fir-tree.Both of them is correct.3.Can you put a comas?I know,that it's not mistake,but sometimes readers like me cannot understand you.
I'm really waiting for your improved essay.Please,never stop writing.It can also be your hobby,because you are fantastic writer!With love,Honeybubble:)
Dear friend, I lke your essay, bit, in my opinion, if you write more than this, it will be better, believe me) Then some mistakes:
Delete-We putted in our home {Past Simple};
-[if I understand correctly, may be it should be like that] I knew that she want;
That's all, thank you for your attention
It seems to me that it will be better if you divide the text into paragraphs. Moreover, I did not like the first sentence, because you wrote the word "relax" two times. So perhaps you will use "take a rest" or "repose". However, never give up. Just try to do your best. Good luck!
DeleteMy winter holidays!
ReplyDeleteMy winter holidays started...I was so glad to become aware of this event.I had different plans for these holidays.On my first days I expect an arrival of my lovely sister and mother. So when they came back home I was really happy to see them. Moreover I spent my free time with my friends by going to the sports field and training.Street workout is an idea to train with own weight in the special sports field, without sports equipment and paying money in the gym. I with my friends love this so much, because it is really funny and at the same time has big benefits.
Happy New Year!!!I with impatience expect that event. I with my family made a lot of delicious salads. We also went to the bazar to buy tasty fruits, cake, spices. We met New Year in domestic surroundings with happy mood.
Furthermore, I had my birthday. It is special day of each human in the world. I was so happy in that day, but at the same time I had a little bit sadness. I became fifteen years old teenager. This age require me being responsible and serious. Unfortunately my childhood passed, and now I must think about future.
Moreover I went with my friends to the cinema on the film called "The greatest showman". In main characters were Hugh Jackman, Zak Efron and others famous actors.I actually enjoyed watching this interesting film with my friends.
At the same time I did a lot of activities in my leisure time. I started reading books for timemanagement and self-development. Moreover, I had a challenge of watching all Harry Potter's movies:) It was funny and gripping. While I watched these films, I did not think about anything, I just relaxed.
In conclusion, I would like to say that these winter holidays were very exciting, unforgettable and productive. At this time I had a lot of important events that I will remember. I became aware of that time is running out and I should have good moments and enjoy right now!)
WOW! I liked your essay very much. Good job! However, I noticed a little error. Please do not forget about a comma after linking words.You did put a comma after MOREOVER.
Delete(1) "I had different plans for these holidays" - meaning here is not right. We say "I had different plans" when you planned something for a period of time, but suddenly something happens and we decide to change our planns.
DeleteFor example: "I am planning to do gymnastics at morning everyday this holidays. However, I have different plans tomorrow morning"
(2) "Moreover I spent my free time with my friends by going to the sports field and training." - There an expression "by going to the sports field and training" sounds incomplete. I suggest add "there" to the word "training", so that it will be more correct. "by going to the sports field and training there".
(3) "I became aware of that time is running out and I should have good moments and enjoy right now!" - An expressions "aware of" and "that time is running out" should not be used together. It would sound right if you will not use "of" here. An expression "aware of" can mean the same with "aware that" sometimes. "I became aware that time is running out and I should have good moments and enjoy right now!"
All in all, your essay is very enjoyable. I believe that if you write more and always try to improve you could have many achievements in literature field, and become excellent in english and writing.
The Hero of Our World, I really liked your essay. Your grammatic is pretty good ☼.
DeleteIn whole essay I saw only one minor mistake.
• You wrote your essay in past tense, while at starting you wrote "Become" instead "became".
It is really little thing, but you should be more carefull.
XO XO ♥
Hello The Hero of Our World
DeleteI enjoyed reading your story and have a few tips :)
1. “I had different plans” could be “I had many different plans”
2. “I expect an arrival of” could be “I anticipated the arrival of”
3. “train with own weight” could be “train with only your body weight”
4. “I with my friends” should be “My friends and I”
5. “I with my family” should be “My family and I”
6. “bazar” is spelt “bazaar”
7. “in that day” should be “on that day”
8. “on the film” should be “to watch the film”
You have used lots of good adjectives to describe your holidays. You did a good job describing your emotions throughout your essay. I also think that you have lots of fun hobbies and make good decisions of how to spend your time.
Tremendous job and I like it!
DeleteYou demomstrate your writing skills very well. Good structure and transition words made your job beautiful.
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ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteEvery year schoolchildren have their winter holidays. They usually last for 2 weeks: from the New Year’s Day till the 9th of January. I am sure that all of us look forward to this time because it’s a great chance not to get up early and to do what we want. As for me I always sleep till 9 a.m. during my winter holidays. Then I turn on my TV and lie in my bed for another hour.
ReplyDeleteWinter holidays are even more exciting because we celebrate New Year. Our mood is joyful. The whole atmosphere is full of magic. People exchange presents, decorate their homes, cook delicious food, visit each other and have parties.
If the weather is cold I prefer to stay at home or visit my friends. They can also come to my place. We play computer games, surf the Internet or watch films. In warm weather we go to the cinema or a café.
This holidays was astonoshing,beacuse i met New Year with my parents and spend timw with my friends.I hope that everbody liked their holidays.Happy New Year !
Happy New Year,you too!
DeleteGood job, however in my opinion it will be better, if instead of "school children" you use the word "students" . Everything is understandable and your job looks pretty. I like your word "astonishing" as it academic word.
I like your essay.Because, you observe the sructure of essay as well as use a academic words. Good job!
DeleteHappy New Year!
DeleteI like your essay , however I found some mistakes.
For example , i think " Then I turn on my TV and lie in my bed for another hour." is not correct , may be "Then I turned on my TV and lay in my bed for another hour."
Toni,your essay is good, honest, when i read it was kind of pleasure. However there are some mistakes:
Delete-Spent time* with my friends
May be thats all)
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DeleteWell done Tony, I enjoyed reading your story. I also like to sleep in and watch TV in the mornings during the holidays. Your story is easy to read and well structured. There are very few mistakes, We don't say 'The' New Years Day - it is just' New Years Day', In your last paragraph you say 'This holidays" it should be 'this holiday" also astonoshing is spelt incorrectly -
Deleteit should be astonishing. I hope this helps Well done again - Alexander
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ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteMy winter holidays
ReplyDeleteI spend my winter holidays as majority of people. What about you? I were playing computer games, watch serials, clean home and other staff. I didn`t do something special and just relax. My family was home only half of all my holidays, so we were home and prepare to New Year.
New Year was funny as well as encouraging. However, we didn`t buy firework, so it was little bit sad thing for me because it is my favorite thing and very special for me resulting to I hope next year we will by it. We prepared for two days before, and starting from 18 o`clock neighbors and relatives come and we go their home too. At twelve o`clock we watch Nursultan Nazarbaev`s speech and drink beverages.
As you see my holidays was full of positive, relax and other different filings. I was playing with my best friend, watch serials and other good as well as my favorite staff.
These holidays were simple as usual days, but it gave me energy and power to learn new information in the lessons.
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DeleteUnusual and interesting essay about winter holiday. But you have some grammatical mistakes:
Delete^by-*buy
^filings-*fillings
as well as some mistakes with past simple.
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DeleteDear Smart Wood, i wish you happy new year. I like your essay but i not like this sentence "At twelve o`clock we watch Nursultan Nazarbaev`s speech and drink beverages." because correctly write Nazarbayev.
DeleteHello, Smart Wood!
DeleteIn 5 sentence there is little mistake, not just "family was home", "family was AT home". Moreover, there is mistake in word "feelings". Also, check again the word "staff", I can not understand using of this word in this case
Dear Smart Wood,i liked your essay very much.It was interesting for me to read your essay.I found some mistackes,for example word feelings you wrote filings.In MY opinion,you concentrate on New Year celebration,not on your hholidays in general,but does not make your essay worse)
DeleteThanks for every body! I will try to remember them and be more grammatical next time.
DeleteThank you for your essay. Great job! Here are my general observations for your essay:
DeleteCommendations:
1. Your easy is ready to go. You already have all the ideas that are needed to write a good essay.
2. You write direct to the point. This is good because you can express your ideas directly.
3. By reading your essay, I can say that you also have an interesting holiday because you have enough time for yourself, for your family and for your friends.
Areas that you need to work:
1. You should work and add connecting words so that the transition of one statement will be very smooth. Connecting words such as moreover, in addition of, as well as, together with, of course, likewise, etc. are words that will make let your transition statements connect from one to another
Suggestion: It will be good that before writing your essay, it will be good to make an outline on what to write in the start, middle and end of the essay so that ideas will be flowing freely and also the transition of the statement are really connected to one another. To make the essay very interesting, you should have a powerful beginning and ending.
2. Some words need to be added in your statements to convey the ideas very clearly:
• I spend my winter holidays as majority of people. (There is a missing word in this statement to make it complete). This can be enhanced by saying: I spent my winter holidays the same as how the majority of people celebrated their winter holidays.
• My family was home only half of my holidays, so we were home and prepared for New Year.
• New Year was funny as well as encouraging. However, we didn`t buy firework, so it was little bit sad thing for me because it is my favorite thing and very special for me resulting to I hope next year we will by it. (You need to separate these statements because it is too long already and you have separate ideas)
• We prepared for two days before, and starting from 18 o`clock neighbors and relatives come and we go their home too (You need to separate these statements because you have separate ideas. Suggestion: It will be good to say that you start the preparation for New year two days before the celebration. Then you can add by saying, On New Year’s Day starting…..)
3. You need to be aware of the grammar so that you can make a very good statement. Also,you need to have consistency of your tenses. Please look at the tenses of all the parts of the essay. Consider looking this as example,
• I was playing computer games, watching serials, cleaning home and other staff.
4. You need to double check some of the spelling so that the statements will not be misunderstood
• I think staff is for group of people. Did you mean stuff?
• Filings…Did you mean feelings?
5. The focus was on your New Years Celebration. It will be good to add some interesting activities that you did before New Year.
This is a promising essay! Continue writing and consider all the suggestions and no doubt that you will be a writer in the future. Keep up the Good Job!
For every student-winter holidays are one of the most enjoyable part of each academic year. On my winter holidays I was at home with my family. Sleeping as long as I want, reading books which I planned to read, watching interesting films, eating tasty meals by myself, spending time with my best friend and other activities as this this – made my holidays colorful. When my mind feel fresh and body feel freedom there became inspiration to make something new. I thought about my priorities and made some conclusions about my bad habits and good qualities. I hope, this year will change more than I can image. Moreover, I am very happy that this holidays gave me chance to think about things, which I thought important. I have desire to make myself better and I will do it.
ReplyDeleteAt school time, I see my family in the evening after school. So think, after this holidays, we get closer
What about New Year? As every year, we sit together with my family, eating New Year dinner and just enjoy the moment. I think this is good chance to start some things again. Fresh mind, new ideas and support of my family will help me to achieve my goals.
I like this holidays and believe, that this is just beginning.
Good job , Freya !
DeleteYour essay is very interesting and very beautiful!
I like your essay structure, but you have mistakes such as "my mind feel(s) fresh and body feel(s) freedom" and "this holidays gave me (a) chance". Do not worry, because it is ok to make some errors.
DeleteI like your essay very much, because of correct structure, linking words. Moreover, we have the same goals, and it is very exciting!)
DeleteIt will be good, if you change some moments:
1) "When my mind feel fresh and body feel freedom there became inspiration to make something new." - I am of the view that with "s"."When my mind feelS fresh and body feelS freedom there became inspiration to make something new." It is very beautiful sentence.
2) "best friend and other activities as this this – made my holidays colorful. " Maybe just one "this".
3) "So think, after this holidays, we get closer" it would be better, if you write "I"..(formula).
Hello, Freya. I like your essay because I do this activities too. Moreover, I am glad that you use synonims for simple word. It really helped essay
DeleteHow I spent my winter holiday ?
ReplyDeleteWinter holidays is one of the best time to relax, because people celebrate New Year and Christmas. People decorate their home , cook delicious and buy presents.
My winter holidays started on 21st December, after summative assessment. I spent my winter holidays at home with my family. Honestly, my holidays doesn’t be very interesting , because I spent it without my grandmother and grandfather , they went to Russia. However , I had some interesting moments. For example, I went to the cinema with my friend and after the cinema we ate burgers in café.
I spent my New Year at home with my friends and family. It was one of the best moments in the last year.
On holidays , I found out a lot of things by reading books and watching the serials.
I read a lot of books like “He and She – Mark Levy” and I was watching GAME OF THRONES. This serial is one of the best serial in the world.
In my opinion , my winter holidays was not bad , full of funny moments , because I spent it with my family.
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DeleteThank you for your essay, it was interesting, because of there Game Of Thrones)) Okay, I am just joking, it is really captivating, but, there are some mistakes:
Delete-My holidays did not was very interesting{Past Simple}
-*-Winter holidays is one of the best time= winter holidays ARE one of the best timeS
Delete-*- cook delicious = here you need to write the subject for example, "cook delicious FOOD"
-*- my holidays doesn’t be very interesting - my holidays WERE NOT very interesting
-*- my winter holidays was not bad - my winter holidays WERE not bad
Heey, dear friend thanks to your essay it is good and it is written in very honest way))
I spent my winter holidays travelling around. I had a little shock for the first time, when I knew, that my winter holidays longs 20 days. I was worried about third term, moreover about all knowledge I will lose for 20 days.
ReplyDeleteMy mom called me in the day before holidays. She said that I must go to Almaty immediately. Here, started my first trip. The way was difficult. However, after nine hours I was in Almaty.
I met my relatives and my parents. It is strange feeling: everybody kisses you, says that you become an adult girl; moreover they always ask questions like “Do you remember me?” or “Do you know my name?”. The problem is that you never ever see this person.
My mission (to celebrate New Year in Almaty) completed, so I went to Taraz. In that nine hours I started to hate everything connected buses or sprinters. Despite the fact that I feel ill, I read the book called “Fighting club”. To be continued…
Freya,I know that you are writing a comment to me
DeleteWaiting for you! :)
DeleteThis is good beginning, I like it. Your job is very interesting, also it was nice to read your job!
You caused intrigue!
I like your essay so much. It is interesting and fascinating. Good job! I did not notice any mistakes
DeleteI like your essay, but it is some mistakes here. For example, you need to use word "lasted" instead of "longs". Moreover, if you start to use past simple, you need to continue in past simple. From seven sentence un paragraph 2, you start to write using present simple, and I am not understand, why? I am think that it is a bad idea to end your essay with the words like "to be continued", cause it is more suitable to movies or cartoons, which has more parts than 1. Also your essay has a good structure and interesting moments.
DeleteDear, Amy!
ReplyDeleteHow are you? How your winter holiday is going?
I would like to write about my winter holiday. It was very exciting. Mostly, I was at home with my family.
Before the Christmas day I and my little sisters and brother go to the cinema. We chose to watch a cartoon called “Ferdinand”. I very like it, because it is about bulls that can teach us about a real love for your friends. I knew that equitable always win. At all, I think it is about spiritual beauty.
So, at 8o’clock we sit with my family to meet a New Year. Everybody at home was happy and started to share with their positivity. Moreover, wish good things for coming New Year. Later we decided to take a family photo with Christmas tree. It was a really miracle night! I like this New Year atmosphere!
Next day my grandmother visit us like Santa Claus. She was with a lot of presents for her grandchildren!
In conclusion, I want to say that my winter holidays have passed fascinating!
Dear, BlackPink
DeleteI like your essay , your essay is very interesting .
I think "Next day my grandmother visit us like Santa Claus."is not correct , may be "Net day my grandmother visited us like Santa Claus"
Thank you , for your essay !
Great job))
DeleteYour essay is very interesting and unusual. You used linking words, beautiful words.Moreover, your essay's structure is very good. It would be better, if you change some moments:
1)"Before the Christmas day I and my little sisters and brother go to the cinema." it would correctly to say "went", because of past tense.
2)"I knew that equitable always win. " Equitable is an adjective, so that you can change it to "justice". Moreover, add "s" to word "win". "I knew that justice always wins."
3) "So, at 8o’clock we sit with my family to meet a New Year." replace sit to "sat".(past tense).
I like you essay very much!)
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DeleteWriting this task as letter is good idea.You give a lot of details, which gives a chance to imagine all this picture.
DeleteYour is exciting as your holidays.
My winter holiday.
ReplyDeleteMy winter holiday started on 22nd of December and ends yesterday. Moreover, this holidays was very special for me, I was find new friends, already helped my brother and mum with homework’s. When my friends returned to their hometown, I was deciding write letters for them and it was very interesting. We exchanged thoughts, share and just chat. In the same time we were preparing to the New Year. Yes, I know that it was difficult but we did not give up. Furthermore, I practiced my hobby reading books. I bought a few books, like Harry Potter and the cursed child, I am legend and etc. but I read only one of them. When I was reading books I did not notice that New Year is near as well as my family celebrated the New Year 2018! In my opinion, this New 2018 year was very unusual and fascinating.
Dear Hames, your essay very interesting, and you very good formulated sentences.
DeleteDear Hames, your essay is very interestimg. Moreover you have a structure of the summury, and used linking words, However you have some mistakes:
Delete1)" I was find new friends..." in this sentence I think that correctly to write "I found new friends".
2)"with homework's" without article.
3)"I was deciding write letters..." Maybe with to. "I was deciding to write letters".
4)"We exchanged thoughts, share and just chat." It is past, so that "shared".
5)" Furthermore, I practiced my hobby reading books." I am of the view that the sentence must be with "-"." Furthermore, I practiced my hobby - reading books."
6)"New 2018 year was very unusual and fascinating." When I read this sentence like 2018 year passed. I think that you must write " celebration" ."The celebration of New 2018 year was very unusual and fascinating."
In main your essay is wery good, and I liked it very much!)
-*-and ends yesterday. - and HAVE FINISHED yesterday.
Delete-*-this holidays was - this holidays WERE
-*-I practiced my hobby reading books - I practiced my hobby OF \ LIKE reading books
-*- a few books - the few books
My winter holiday
ReplyDeleteI cannot say that my winter holiday was amazing, wonderful and perfect, nevertheless, it let me feel happy, fun and I was relax. So what I did?!
Majority of my holiday, I was in Almaty, with my family, we went to my father. Until the New Year, I came to school, prepared for olimpyada by chemistry, red the book, and all of that. I tried to work on my mistakes in English grammar, so I also red English book, too. Unfortunately, when the New Year came, I prepared for that, so I forgot about that. I cleaned my home, it was general cleaning, OMG, after that I was so tired. Also I help my mother with setting the table to celebration. Well, I, with my family, met the New Tear together and great. Okay!
After all of that, like any typical teenager, I was surfer in social network, watch serials and cartoons, because, this kind of pastime let me feel myself relax. During the holiday I found new friend, and every day we talked until the midnight, sometimes until the 5 o’clock. It was crazy and amazing.
All of this happened in Almaty, because of, at third day of the holiday we went to there.
So it was my winter holiday, regardless, I love it.
You wrote fascinating essay, and I glad for your time spend. However I find some mistakes. Do not worry they aren`t so bad, but I want that you won`t do it again. For example, you miswrite New Year as New Tear, and nevertheless must be in beginning of sentence. Good luck!
DeleteGood job! In my opinion, you spend winter holiday great and well write about it. A mistakes;
Delete^red-*three forms of read written identically.
Moreover some grammatical mistakes, like ^New Tear-*New Year.
I think there is not a structure like {was+ infinitive} in English grammar . You wrote "I was relax". Moreover, it seems to me that "winter holidayS" is correct. Try do not repeat these mistakes. I believe you will do your best.
DeleteAt the end of 2nd term winter holidays came. I remember having many activities planned. Although, I have not completed them all, I have done many.
ReplyDeleteWinter holidays started and I decided to relax from school for first 3 days. I was not doing anything beneficial for my health nor was I doing anything exciting or thrilling. I was just relaxing. Taking a nap, playing on laptop, watching movies or reading interesting stories is what I have done. First three days passed in a very leisure pace and I really enjoyed them.
One the fourth day I started planning some activities. I was making my everyday schedule for winter holidays. Physical and mind exercises were included in that everyday schedule, it is really detailed.
Following the schedule some days are devoted to skill improving. For example, I tried working with programs. Practice by editing pictures, making small and simple animations or writing simple programs. Some days are casual. For example, get up at 7 o’clock, do morning exercises, cook simple breakfast, practice German language, get a walk in the park, try to write a story, read a book and so on. Small part of winter holidays left with nothing planned. Those are days to do anything without plan. For example, watch a movie, play a game with my big brother, watch him drawing pictures using graphic tablet. All in all those are days I usually spend interacting with my family.
However, not all days are included in my schedule. Days like New Year, times to go on a mountain trip or celebrations are days which I call “Valuable time” and I spend them without any plans. “Valuable time” is not to be spent with plans, because it is time to meet something unexpected. Movies or books release dates which I awaited are also included in “Valuable time” list.
That is how I spent my winter holidays, and it is detailed information about what I usually do on holidays and free time. I always try to enjoy free time and so this time I also got much pleasure by mixing relax time and exercise time.
Dear,BrokenSapphire!) I very liked that you wrote more words than 150.Moreover, using the words like "beneficial, nap, leisure pace, are devoted, interacting, release" indicates your rich vocabulary.However, it would be very good if you change these moments like:
Delete-*- At the end of 2nd term -At the end of THE 2nd term
-*- I remember having many activities planned. - I remembered that I have many already planned activities.
-*- Practice by editing pictures- Practicing the redaction of the pictures
-*- dear you need to decide on are you writing in Past or in Present, because the first 3 paragraphes in Past and then in Present.
thanks, to your work) good job!
"awesome_flower" - Thank you for reading my essay! I hope you was not reading it while thinking that it is very troublesome to appraise my essay. I think there is much space for my progress. I will strive to have less mistakes and will try to write more interesting works, so that it will not be troublesome to assess them. Come later to look at my new essay, and when the time comes I think you will not be dissapointed.
DeleteCorrections:
DeleteParagraph 1: At the end of "the" 2nd term winter holidays came.
Paragraph 2: "The" Winter holidays started and I decided to relax from school for "the" first 3 days.
Taking a nap, playing on "my or the" laptop, watching movies or reading interesting stories is what I have "had" done.
"The" First three days passed in a very leisure "leisurely" pace"," and I really enjoyed them.
Paragraph 3: One "On" the fourth day I started planning some activities.
Physical and mind exercises were included in that everyday schedule, it is "was" really detailed.
Paragraph 4: Following the schedule"," some days are "were" devoted to skill improving "improving my skills".
For example, I tried working with programs"," practice by editing pictures, making small and simple animations or writing simple programs.
Some days are "were" casual.
"A" small part of "the" winter holidays "were" left with nothing planned.
Those are "were" days to do anything without "a" plan.
For example, watch a movie, play a game with my big brother, watch him drawing pictures using "a" graphic tablet.
All in all"," those are "were" days I usually spend "spent" interacting with my family.
Comments:
You are doing very well expressing your ideas, you just need to pay more attention to using articles (a, an, the) properly and getting the correct tense. These are very minor mistakes and don't interfere with communicating your message. Be aware that you need to work on those areas and actively try to correct them.
Today is the second day of our new 3rd term. Now, I would like to share with you some information about my winter holidays. Ok, let`s start!
ReplyDeleteIn fact, our holiday lasted 15 days, but if estimate with weekends, then it will be about 20 days of holiday. I spent my winter holidays in Taraz, at home actually.
The first activity that I did is going to additional lessons from subjects such as English and World History. This lasted for the 5-6 days. Secondly, I was ‘’perfect daughter’’ to my mum. In that case, I prepared food (breakfast, lunch and dinner), cleaned my home and take care of my brother and sister. Moreover, I watched soap operas and survived in the internet in my free time. Furthermore, in holidays I could read 2 books from the world literature.
At the end of the holidays, I felt very satisfied about my work and results. In addition, I consider that this activities indicates my self- development. To sum up, in my winter holidays I did not just waste my time, and as a result I came to school with the wonderful mood!
Ooohh,awesomr flower, regardless that it was little essay, you wrote very carefully and nearly without mistakes. However, in my opinion, it should be "took care of my brother and sister", due to you wrtie this in Past Simple. Good luck in future)
Deletewowww, I really liked your essay. It give me some motivation, because I just wasted my time on holidays. Moreover, your grammar is wonderful. Good luck!
Delete(1) "In fact, our holiday lasted 15 days" - I believe the correct version is "In fact, our holiday lasted for 15 days"
Delete(2) "then it will be about 20 days of holiday." - it should be - "then it will be about 20 days of holidays." It is a minor issue, so I wish you to be more careful next time.
(3) "going to additional lessons from subjects" - I think, that the right form is "going to additional lessons in subjects"
(4) "In that case, I prepared food (breakfast, lunch and dinner), cleaned my home and take care of my brother and sister." - "In that case" sounds inappropriate here, I estimate that something like "For that" or "So" will be better here. Also, "take care" should be "took care". Pay more attention to details.
(5) "survived in the internet" - sounds strange. You must have unintentionally mistook word "survive" for "surf".
(6) "this activities indicates" - It is well known that after (he, she, it) we
usually add (s) as an ending of Verbs, but there the word "activity" is written in plural form, so you should not add ending (s) to the Verb "indicate" - "this activities indicate"
Checking your work, I came to a conclusion that you must pay more attention to details. It is a pity when your work gets spoiled by minor things like mistaked words or inappropriate endings. Your work is short, but contains much information. Honestly, I think your work is good and you can create masterpiece if you continue to work with your stories.
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DeleteInstead of ‘in fact’, you could use ‘as it happens…’
DeleteInstead of ‘if estimate with weekends’, you should say ‘if we include the weekends’.
Remember that you are referring to the holidays that are in the past so you should say ‘it was about 20 days of holiday (in total)’ or better: ‘we had about 20 days’ holiday in total.
Make sure that you focus on correct use of the past tense, for example: took care of my brother and sister.
You can’t say ‘survived my time in the internet’ - I think you mean ‘surfed the web’.
Instead of ‘In addition, I consider that this activities indicates my self- development’ you could say: ‘I think that the activities I did over the holidays indicate my passion for learning and self-improvement’.
I really enjoyed reading your work, well done! You also helped your mum, which is also important! :)
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ReplyDeleteMy winter holidays
ReplyDeleteWinter holidays are my favorite, because they are long. However, these two weeks passed quickly. I looked after my niece most of the time. It is been only three months since she was born, but I attached to her. Thanks to my niece I understood the importance of the family one more time. A New Year is a long-awaited event. I celebrate the New Year with my family every year. Moreover, I want to do it with my friends too. Perhaps it will be fascinating. By the way I did not have The New Year`s mood this time. Maybe it was because of the lack of the snow.
I had a lot of free time on the holidays. Furthermore, my sleep regimen violated. I woke up at 12.00 PM and went to bed at 2.00 AM. I interested in Korean pop groups by the end of 2017 year. I watched shows such as “Producer 101” and “Bon Voyage”. “Producer 101” is a reality show about trainees who want to debut. It gave me the motivation. “Bon Voyage” is about travelling of the BTS kpop group. After watching this show I wrote a list of the countries which I want to visit. Moreover, I planned my own English lessons at home.
I spent all my holidays with my family at home and I do not worry about it. I had enough time to create new goals. Moreover, I noticed that writing your plans is a good idea. It helps you to concentrate and do not forget significant things. I will try to do my best after this rest. I hope the next holidays will be more productive.
I really liked your essay. However I saw some mistakes like:
Delete•You shouldn't putting a comma before "because".
•You wrote first part of your essay in past tense, but second part was in prestent tense.
I think your work is improved.However you should study, so you will write more better. Good luck ♥
I like your essay, and I agree with mistakes written by bloger who wrote before me. Moreover, I wish good luck! Bye!
Delete-*- A New Year - THE New Year
Delete-*- It is very cute the sentences about your sister))) I liked it very much
-*- Perhaps it will be fascinating. - Perhaps it would be fascinating. (to show that you wanted that, but it didn`t happen.)
-*- helps you to concentrate - helps you to concentrate ON SMTH (for e[ample, "on studies")
-*- You essay is informative and gives some ideas , thanks to your essay I could relax by reading it)
My winter holidays lasted for 18 days. I thought that it is really long. However it quickly passed. I did not do something incredible. Firstly I and my dad went to village for 2 days. By the way, I read interesting book, which is called “Liar’s Club” from the “True Story” publishing house. After coming back to my home, I went to opening of women’s clothing store “Bakonya”.
ReplyDeleteI celebrated my New Year in the family. We made preparations like festive table, decorate the Christmas tree and clean up at home. Furthermore, my family went to my uncle’s house, there we blew up salutes and it was fascinating.
After New Year I started to watch Korean dramas, like “While you slept” and read book, which is called “Gone with the wind” written by Margaret Mitchell. 1
Also I met my friends, and we spent time together. At Saturday, 6 January guests come to my home. We celebrated birth of my niece to world.
I really liked my winter holidays. However I spent time with my parents and relatives.
Dear, your essay is interesting and well formulated. However, you forgot change some verbs to Past tense. For example, read, decorate, clean up, come. Please, will be more closely!
Delete-*- it quickly passed - it passed quickly
Delete-*- I and my dad - ME and my dad
-*- read interesting book - read THE interesting book
-*- At Saturday, - ON Saturday,
How I spent my winter holidays?
ReplyDeleteMy winter holidays started at December 22and lasted for whole 18 days. Because it is a long period, I decided to spend it useful for myself as soon as I wanted to relax.
The first part of holidays I red fascinating book, which was called “Gone with the wind” written by Margaret Mitchell. It was about a difficult fate og young woman Scarlett, her troublesome choice during the howl and unrequited love. Although, after reading I understood that it was one of the most wonderful books whatever I read.
I celebrated the New Year in the family. I cooked traditional dished, salads and prepared a festive table with my mom and little sister. Moreover, at 12.00 pm we and our neighbors went to outside and blew up salutes. Hundreds of colorful salutes highlighted the dark night sky.
In the second part of holidays I just wanted to relax, so that I choose some movies and serials and saw it. My list included movies, such as “Paris at any cost”, “Personal customer”, “Devil wears Prada” and serial “Stranger things”.
On winter holidays I did not do some grandiose things. However, I satisfied. I even went to former school for meeting my old classmates, that I did not saw about year.
Good_reader, when I firstly red your essay, I thought that it is perfect. However you have minor mistakes. Like:
Delete•You wrote essay at past tense, but forgot to change choose to second form. Choose-Chose-Chosen.
•You wrote "Devil wears Prada" and forgot article. You should have wrote "The Devil wears Prada".
I understand that it is a little thing. However you should remember that "The devil's always in the details".
XO XO ♥
Hello, I think that your essay has a good structure, but it is some mistakes here. For example it is "read" instead of "red" in the first paragraph, cause three forms of "read" write identically, and instead of "choose", you need to write "chose"-second form of verb choose. It is okey to make mistakes and I think that your essay is very well, despite of this small mistakes.
Delete-*- Because it is - please, try do not start your sentences with "but, and , because"
Delete-*- I red fascinating book, - I red THE fascinating book,
-*- in the family - with my family hears better
-*- serials and saw it.- serials and WATCHED it.
-*- I did not saw -t I did not see
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ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteTwenty first December it`s a last day of second turn. I enjoy in this day. My school made winter ball, and more of my classmates go to this party. I danced with some of my friends, and become acquainted with a lot of interesting people. Then I go home, and my holiday start.
ReplyDeleteFirst time I didn`t do anything, I just sleep or surfed in the internet. However, after I wish my mom cooking salad and food for meeting New Year. It`s be cool. Nevertheless coming my sister from Almaty, and this be one of the greatest moment in 2017. Unfortunately, my father can`t coming, because he must work. However, when we celebrate holiday we call to him with «WhatsApp», and be on connection.
After New Year I am strolling with my friend. More time I playing with my little brother and help to him with lesson. I go to the celebration of New Year in the kind garden, and he splendidly tell two poems. I went proud with him. Then Santa Claus give more goodies to my little brother.
In last day of vacation I think what I do in 2017, and disappointed. I understand a lot time I just waste. I surf in the «VK», watch video in «YouTube» , but I could read books, develop English. So I thing I must changing myself, and spend my time useful. When I go to school sure with this, and I thing changing it`s my first goal in this year.
Hello, my dear friend! I find some grammar mistakes here. I think that it is not a "turn", you need to write "term" if you want to say about ending of school time. Second mistake it is that you need to write verbs in 2nd form or with /ed/ if you start to write in past simple, "went" instead of "go", "it was cool" instead of "it's be cool". Plase put attention to this moments. It is not bad to make mistakes. Good luck!
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DeleteTHE twenty first OF December. You must use 'the' and 'of' when you write the date.
Delete'Is the last day of the second term' is much better😉
As Young Jake said, you should be careful with the PAST tense.(ex:enjoy-enjoyed, become-became,went, slept, started, couldn't,celebrated,called,wasted, watched...etc) Because you are telling the story that was in the past.
Winter ball- you should probably use 'New Year Party'
Surfed the Internet -without preposition
The sentence 'However,after I wish my mom cooking salad and food for meeting new year' is incorrect . Pay attention to the meaning of your sentence .
You celebrate the new year,not meet.
Reread the rules of 'THIS/THAT'
You can not say My father can't coming,- My father can't come(no -ing after model verbs)
When we were celebrating is more correct in this case, because it's a long action.
May be you wanted to write kindergarden instead of kind garden.?
to BE proud: so, I was proud of him
Remember! THE first , THE last. Don't forget)
'Must' is also modal verb, you cannot say I must changing.
I thinK-one thinG(revise these words)
'I am sure with one thing when I'll go to school, i will change myself and that's my goal for this year 'is better.
I really love your essay, but you should be careful with grammar,articles,modal verbs and prepositions. I advice you to look through your grammar book. If you use translator, translate only one word. If you do like that, you will be able to write correctly. NEVER translate one sentence from the translator.
And I hope you are already working on your time management🙂 Good luck!
Hello Marshal Lee :) I enjoyed reading your story. Princess Fiona (above) has given you lots of good advice for your English. There are some grammar errors but I can still understand your meaning, which is good.
DeleteI won't repeat what Princess Fiona stated but I would just add that maybe put in a little detail, for example you said your father cannot be home because of his work, so what does he do? you were helping your little brother with his homework, what homework? English, science, math etc..? Adding detail will make your story more interesting :)
My winter vacation passed so quickly. While I helped prepare for the new year, I spent a few days. I made a cake "Vupi Pai", which is so loving and waiting for every holiday. After a new year, I'm with my sisters went to the central square of the city. There ere a lot of people there and I met a few of my friends. My friends and I walked together for about two hours. it was very fun. In the winter holidays for me it was productive, because I finished a book that I could not finish because of my studies. Together
ReplyDeletewith the family watched several movies, one of them that I liked so much "Hidden figures." Winter vacations seem so long in really passed so quickly, but I love this vacation.
Hello Smart Writer,
DeleteI have read your essay and understood most of what you communicated. Note that you wrote 134/150 words and so missed the opportunity to further describe your vacation. Next time use all the words and more to enrich your essay.
Some sentences that you wrote contain at least one word or phrase that needs correction.'I spent a few days' is hanging and requires completion. Is 'so loving' the meaning of 'Vupi Pai' or are you describing it? 'After a new year' should use a definite article since it is unique for this year.'I'm with my sisters' should start 'My sisters and I...'. 'There ere' is 'There are...'. 'it was very fun' should be 'It was fun'. 'In the winter holidays for me it was productive' should start 'The winter holidays were...'. 'I could not finish' should be followed by the word 'earlier'. 'Together with the family watched several movies' should begin 'We watched......as a family.'. The sentence needs to broken to start 'One of them ...'. 'seem so long in really passed' is not easily understood so rephrase it. 'but I love this vacation.'should contain 'loved'. I look forward to reading your improved draft.
Smart Writer, you wrote very fascinating essay! You had good vacobulary, and you had few as well as not weighty. I wish you to continue to write essays as wonderful as this one.
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ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI suppose, It was a very unusual winter holiday. Because you are using pronoun it and auxiliary verb was, so you cannot use the word holiday in plural.
DeleteIt's better to say "watched tv series".
And there was no snow in the place where I spent my winter--> this structure is better.
"To make somebody upset" is the correct structure, so you should write "this made me upset".
I like your essay, you don't have many mistakes. I could imagine how you spent your holidays. And I like it by the way.
Yes, this time new year was a bit strange, because we didn't have snow.. But yaaaaay, it's snowing crazy now. So you can light a firework as much as you want😄)))
My winter holidays in my opinion very productive, and very funny. At first day I do not believe my eyes because I get up at 10 o`clock. At second day we planned to go with classmates on café but only 3 people go with me. Every day be simple I get up at 12 and eat dinner because I get up in afternoon, do homework is English and Kazakh. At 8 or 9 o`clock I play PC with my best friends on video games. I sleep at 5 or 6. In happy new year my parents give me FIFA 18. Happy new year.
ReplyDeleteooo sorry i wrote New Year at small lettar.
Deleteletter
DeleteYou wrote good essay. I really happy that you spended your time as you wanted. However, you wrote very short essay. Tn addition, you need use synonims and other expresions to make your essay better. For example, "I could not believe my eyes" is right. Good luck!
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ReplyDeleteDear Panda)I liked that you told every interesting moments in so short essay.You wrote the main and certain information.But i found some mistackes.The name of celebration must be New Year,you wrote Happy New Year,morover it writes from capital letter !
ReplyDelete